Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Family Lunch

Yesterday was so fun the boys school had a family lunch day. We got to go with Daxton to eat lunch and play on the playground during his lunch hour. It was so much fun!! He loved having us there and we loved being there. Its so much fun to see him interact with friends and see how grown up he is showing us through the line and how we get our food in the right order. It was lots of fun!! He is also a monkey on the play ground he can climb to the highest point he does flips and tricks he loves school!! I am so proud that he is mine and love that we are able to do special things like this with him!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Mommy and son date.

Saturday the boys and I had a mommy and son date while Layne was busy doing other things. We had a blast going bowling, eating to much junk at the bowling ally ( nachos, fries, onion rings, corn dogs and soda), played 2 games Daxton won the first he got 123 and the second game Stefon won by only 3 pins getting 98. Landon even threw a few balls which was so stinking cute to watch!! He was mad when I tried to help and I was scared out of my mind he'd drop the ball on his toes but he didn't and a great time was had by all. On the way home we stopped for treats at the store and headed home for baths and movie time. The boys picked Kung Fu Panda to watch and he messed around pulling funny faces with air heads, had a pj party and watched the show. It was such a fun night I love having special time with the boys. They bring sunshine to my soul and make my days brighter. I am so grateful that I have them here to hug on and kiss an extra lot. Thanks boys for a great night!! Mommy sure loves you!!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Landons 2 year old pictures.

About a week ago we took Landon to do his 2 year birthday pictures. They turned out so stinking cute!! Thank you Amber for doing these for us her website is http://www.timelessdesignphotography.com/ She worked very well with Landon and was so patient and fun!! Thanks for these precious memories!!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

The brother I never knew...

So I haven't posted about this here before but with tomorrow being his angel day I feel strongly about writing. I will be very busy tomorrow with kids, getting a biopsy done, going to the cemetery with my mom and work that I figured I would post tonight. 28 years ago tomorrow my mom lost her son. His name is Jeremy Chad Bott and he was a year and a half when he passed away. My mom was pregnant with me when he passed so we never met on earth... Oh how I look forward to meeting this sweet boy! I remember growing up how my mom would teach me about him, take us to his grave, talk about how sweet he was. I remember watching her be so sad some days and wondering why after so many years she still felt so much pain... how stupid and venerable I was then. I couldn't figure out why she still cried over him, missed him so much and how strong she really was. Now I know.. I feel terrible that I ever judged her for missing him for the pain she went through and still goes through every day. When Kael passed away it sent my mom into a deep pain like she was loosing her son all over again. Now I know its because all though its been a very, very long time the pain is still there, she is able to bear it better and not be so sad all the time but she misses him and she always will. I feel so bad knowing how bad tomorrow is going to hurt for her, I wish I could spare her of the pain, but I know that I cant and all that I can do is be there for her and love her and understand her and not judge. I look up to my mom more now. Seeing how strong she was for us other kids and how she never let her burden carry over to us kids. I only hope to be half the mom that she has been to me to my own kids. I hope one day that I will get to meet Jeremy I picture him in heaven helping Kael, showing him the ropes and hugging him and kissing him for me. I hope their best friends and that they shine down and smile upon us every day. That they run and fly free together and that they know no pain. So tomorrow I will go with my mom and be her rock, let her lean on me and visit my brother that I know so much of but haven't met yet. Jeremy and Kael are buried next to each other so I will get to stop by and say hi to him as well. Give each other big hugs from your mommies, sisters, brothers, grandmas, aunts, uncles etc. I cant wait for the day we all get to meet.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Kaels Angel Wreath

Last week another angel mom and I got together to make wreaths in honor of our sweet babies. She had gotten the idea from another angel loss mom and I was hooked the day she sent it to me!! So we set aside a day... and decided to get them done!! We headed to the craft store first... wreath, ribbon, fabric, buttons, glitter, wooden letters all the works and headed back to her place!! She had a bit of a head start on hers and it made me even more excited to get started!!

The wreaths turned out beautiful, so amazing and so much like our kids.. now we have something we can hang in the house with their things to make them that much closer to us!! The initial thought behind it was to hang them on their birthdays and angel days but I don't think ill ever take it down!! I wrapped BYU fabric around the edges to remind us of the night before he passed, we had been to the BYU/Utah State game, I hung his socks that he wore so many times.. they were one of the only pairs that would fit and not slide off, I hung his tag that has his name on it that a lovely made for him, I hung his rattle that he loved to wear on his wrist, he wasn't able to move a ton on his own but he would move his arms and the rattles would make noise, he would get so excited when he heard noise or music he sure loved it!! I hung a wooden K in honor of his name to represent an amazing little boy!! I love the way it turned it. It is such a beautiful wreath and I was surprised with how good it looks on the wall right by our BYU family picture with Kael in it. Its perfect!! Thank you for allowing me over to make these beautiful wreaths with you. My friends turned out perfect as well it represents her beautiful daughter so well!! Its girly and beautiful with all of her things!! I'm so happy we were able to make these all though it was hard to go through that box with some of Kaels things it was nice to see them again and remember back to those amazing days. I love you to the moon and back!!! Love mommy!!

Landon turned 2!!

WOW time sure goes by so fast. On August 12th Landon turned the big 2!! We had such a fun couple of days for him. The night before his birthday his Grandma Rushworth threw him a mini party for Thursday night dinner. On Friday his birthday I took him to lunch with a play place, we ate and played for a while then headed to the library. We read lots of stories, and checked out a few books. After that we headed to Toys R Us where Landon picked out a few prizes and then headed to the party store for lots of party supplies and balloons!! Friday night we had a yummy dinner and played with Landon's new things. Saturday was the big party!! Lots of family, friends, food, swimming and fun!! Landon picked Thomas the Train so we did a Thomas theme and had a great time. The kids all swam, jumped on the tramp, played in the sandbox, ate and had cake and then Landon got to open his presents, zillions of Thomas things, cars, books, puzzles, clothes, a potty chair lots of underwear a bike helmet and a new bike!! He was so excited he wanted to ride it right away!! It was a really fun birthday weekend.

I'm so glad that Landon was able to join our family. He brought some much needed sunshine back into our lives!! He is such a spunky, smart, independent, fun loving kid!! He means the world to us we love him to the moon and back!! I'm so glad that he got to join our family and that we got our little rainbow baby.... He makes the hard days not quite as hard!! I love you Landon and hope you had a great birthday!!

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