Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Kyles Eagle

Ive written here about Kyle once or twice before. He is my nephew who just turned 18 and has autism. He is one of the kindest, whole hearted, special kids I know. This last Sunday he did something that not many people achieve, something he had to work very hard for and something that took him a really long time. He earned his Eagle Scout award. We went to his court of honor on Sunday which was the most moving, tender thing I have seen or been to in a very long time. They did a great job recognizing him and his accomplishments. Kyle even gave a talk and sang a song because the music on his slide show was not working. I bawled almost the whole time trying to blame it on pregnancy hormones but I know it wasn't all that. Kyle has such a special spirit about him and you could certainly feel it strong that night. The reason that I write about this is one  I never want to forget how hard Kyle worked but two it reminds me that we can accomplish anything we put our minds to!! He didn't let his disability get him down, he didn't use it as an excuse he simply choose to do something and did it. I hope that one day I am as strong, brave and special as Kyle. He is one of my hero's here on earth and I am so happy that he is part of my life to remind me of what really is important. Love, charity and kindness!!

Bott Family Christmas Party

Today we had my side of the families Christmas Party. We did our annual breakfast, cousin gift exchange and then my mom gave all of the grand kids their presents. Its always fun for all of the cousins to get together even though it can be hectic. Food was yummy and the company was fun.

School Chirstmas Fun

This past week the boys had lots of fun with school Christmas activities. They had parties, gift exchanges, assemblies and the parents were invited for a school sing along. It was so much fun to be able to help out at their parties, and to go to the sing along with Layne and Landon. This sure is a fun time of year with kiddos in tow!!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Family Trip to see Santa

Friday night we had a little family date. We went out to dinner then hit up the mall to see Santa. The boys took a turn sitting on his lap and telling him what they want for Christmas and then we got their picture with him all together. Once we were done with Santa we looked around for a bit and then let the boys ride on the rides in the middle of the mall. When we got home we had a movie night with lots of treats and popcorn. It was a fantastic way to spend our Friday night!

Field Trip to Santa

On Wednesday I went with Landon and his preschool class to the mall to visit Santa. It was so cute to see the little kids get to excited when Santa walked in and was jingling his bells. They all took a turn sitting on his lap and telling them what they wanted for Christmas and then Santa gave each of them a coloring book. We took a few pictures of the class as well. It was a fun afternoon.

Verizon Christmas Party

On Tuesday Verizon had their annual Christmas party. It was so much fun this year!! They brought in horse carriages that gave families carriage rides around the center outside, they made each child a badge like the workers there use, they had crafts, a cake walk, 2 photo booths, tattoos and then gave out sandwiches, cookies, cider and hot cocoa, they also had some special visitors Santa, frosty and 2 penguins from the north pole. Its always fun to have the family come to work. They love being able to visit and seeing where I work. Verizon did a outstanding job this year. We loved every second of it!!

Friday, December 14, 2012


It always stops me in my tracks to hear my kids talk about Kael in great detail. They mention him often, we have his pictures all over and we keep him a part of all family events but when the boys go out of their way to ask questions, talk about their memories and express their feelings it is very bittersweet for me. The sweet part is I know that they know him, think of him, remember him and love him.... the bitter part is I also know that they are hurting, miss him and wish he were here just the same that I do. Daxton got down Kaels book just before bed time last night. He looked through all of the pictures and asked questions. He didnt remember Kaels casket and was very thorough with his questions... then he asked me when Kael is going to come back alive... how I wish I knew and had a anwser for this question. Its hard for me to even try and grasp I cant even imagine how it must be hard for their little brains to wrap around. Once Stefon and Landon heard Dax and I talking they wanted in. So we re-read his book and they both got to ask their questions. Its very interesting to me to see how much they want to know and understand. Now that Landon is older he also wants to know all about it. He wants to know why Kael passed away how come his body didnt work and when he gets to meet his big brother. I love hearing Daxton and Stefon tell Landon about Kael it really is a sweet thing. To hear their memories and talk about how special he is. Its a little bit tough to explain to Landon why he cant meet Kael on earth and how he passed away. Im sure as he gets old it will be a bit easier but it stings right now just a little bit. The good news in all of this is that I know Kael wont be forgotten in our little family. We will live his legacy forever and Landon and baby girl will know all about their big brother, how special he is and the huge impact he made on our lives. With todays events it saddens me to know that now 26 other families will know this heart break, a child, a sibling, a mom a dad it will hurt so badly and they will have to learn to walk this grief walk. I pray for thier families there are no words, nothing that can be said or done to make their situation any easier. I pray those children did not have to suffer long and that the horror that they witnessed was short lived. I cant imagine how awful it was for them. I will pray for their families for weeks to come as this journey I can only imagine will be rough. Remember hold your kids tighter, tell the ones that you love just how much you love them and never take one second for granted.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Christmas Crafts

Got  this idea on pinterest and thought is was so cute so we decided to try it out!! We made these snowmen out of rice, socks and ribbon. Each boy made their own and then Daxton decided we needed to make Kael one to so we all worked on his together I love that they never leave him out of anything!!  I think they turned out so stinking cute!! It was a fun, easy craft to do together as a family!!


I was so proud when both of my boys came home from school wanting to do reflections at school this year. It was their own idea and they were really into it. They both decided to do visual arts and got started right away. The theme this year was magic of a moment. They both came up with great ideas and pictures. They turned in their projects a few weeks ago. I was so excited when I got an email from the PTA that Stefon's had been moved on to district. I cant wait to see how far it goes. The school did a assembly where each child that participated got to go on stage, get a certificate and prizes as well as a free kids meal to wingers. Both boys were so proud that they were called up on stage. Because Stefon's is now at the district level he also got a trophy. It brings me so much joy to see the boys excel at school. And Daxton was so good about his only getting a school award. He wasn't upset or disappointed and was so good with Stefon telling him how awesome it was that he was moving on. They are such good brothers. I love them both so much and am so proud of them!!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

A little bit scary...

Things around here have been a bit scary in the baby department as of late. 2 and a half weeks ago we went in to the specialist to have my mid pregnancy ultrasound. The baby is growing amazingly well she is right on track for her due date, her brain looks great her head looks great her heart looks great and her joints at her hands and feet are also great which is huge. The one scary thing that they saw was something in her tummy around her bowel which can mean she might have infection in there or something called cystic fibrosis and also it can mean nothing at all... so of course I start freaking out!!! They decided to do a few tests on me to test me to see if I am even a carrier of the gene or not. Well last week the tests came back that I am... so the next step in the  process was to perform an amniocentesis. We scheduled the test for Friday afternoon. Thursday night on my way home from work only 3 blocks away from where I needed to be I was involved in a car accident. I drive a mini van and was stopped for a red light the truch who came behind me wasnt paying attention and drove right into the back of me and pushed me into a truck that was in front of me so my van was smooshed inbetween these 2 big trucks!! The guy behind me hit me hard enough that my stomach hit the steering wheel and also my head went flying forward and hit the back of my seat luckily I am a mad woman about wearing my seat belt so that helped. It took the cops 45 minutes to show up but when they did they decided that since my belly hit the steering wheel and my arm, neck and back were hurting that  I needed to be seen Layne came right away as soon as it happend and took me up to the hospital. They immediatley took me to labor and delivery to check on the baby. Not a place I pictured myself at 21.5 weeks. They found her heart beat right away and she was kicking like crazy they hooked me up to the contraction machiene and luckily I was having none. They monitored me for 2 hours before they sent me over to ther ER to have myself checked out. Luckily no broken bones just lots of bruisng and whiplash. They released me and gave me instructions to check in with my ob. Lucky for me the next day was my amnio. they were so good about everything and since the wreck was the night before they did another full body ultrasound to check over baby and she is still looking good. The stuff around her bowel wasnt as much either which is good news. Once the ultrasound was over they performed the amniocentesis which hurt like crap!!! I guess just another added pain from the night before.... now we wait for 7-10 days to get the results to see if indeed she does have cystic fibrosis or any other condition that they can detect. We are hopeful that all will be well with her. She is looking good and growing great but the chances she will have it are strong. The good news is there are alot of different kinds and how much they impact each individual person. Laynes brother has cystic fibrosis and has lived a faily good life and is in his 50's so we are hopeful. In the meantime please keep baby girl in your prayers. Every little prayer helps!! 

Harmons field trip

Last week I went along with Landon's preschool class to the local grocery store Harmons. It was a lot of fun! The lady gave us a tour around the store, the kids got apples and oranges and cookies from the bakery, we got to go in the back of the store and see the freezer how big and cold they are and when you walk past the milk part of the store a secret cow moo's which the kids thought was hilarious!! It was such a fun time with Landon's class!!

Friday, November 23, 2012


So many things to be thankful for!! All though times are tough there are still so many things that are AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL in my life. My precious little family I love each of my boys with all of my heart. I am beyond thankful for them and all that they teach me each day!! Thankful for my hubby who works hard to take care of us and will do anything for us. Thankful for an amazing job with benefits for when we need to have care from a doctor or hospital. Thankful for all of the modern day medicine/machines that we have these days so we can check in on this beautiful growing baby in my belly. I am thankful for her sweet kicks that I get more and more of each day to know that she is alive and growing in there. Thankful for a warm room over our heads, food to eat, a car to get us around and for all of the amazing friends and extended family in my life. I have truly been blessed to have some great people surrounding me to help me in the good and bad times. I am thankful for the knowledge of a loving Father in Heaven I have certainly felt him near these past few weeks and I am thankful for  the hopes that one day we will be united with our precious Kael what a joyous day that will be!!  Life is good with so much to be thankful for!! Yesterday we spent time with just our little family in the morning and then spent the afternoon into the night with Layne's family. Its always fun to be around them and catch up. On Sunday my family will have their dinner and we will be together as well. Another year gone by, some ups, some downs some in betweens yet a life filled with love and thankfulness!! I pictured the kids thankful plates everytime I see them I smile. :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


I feel like I go through this every year but this year it seems a little bit more present. I have a mix of emotions of gratitude and yet sadness still creeps in. Being pregnant this year for sure is not helping my crazy out of line emotions. I hate even typing it because I dont want people to think I am ungrateful because quite the opposite I am very but when it all sinks in the hurting is just a little more this time of year. It hit me hard for the first time yesterday as I was helping out in Stefons class for their Thanksgiving Party. As I walked out to head home when it was over I broke down into tears. I so wish Kael were here to celebrate the holidays with us. I miss his sweet little face, the noises he made, taking care of him and his sweet smell that was like no other. His funny redish hair that would go all over the place and how much his brothers loved and took care of him. We were making Thankful plates for craft time the other day and the boys all picked what they were going to write. It made my heart melt that the first thing Daxton and Stefon said was for their brother Kael. I love that they remember him and that they keep him in their hearts. I know he watches over them and helps to keep them safe. I will have to post pictures of the plates they turned out so cute their thankful list was amazing and really made me smile. Im trying to focus all of my energy on the good not let the sad and hurt seep in but once in a while it breaks through the surface and reminds me of how present it still is. I wouldnt trade the world for the time we had Kael here I am just selfish and wish it were for a little bit longer. I pray that the holidays are gentle on all of my family and friends it can certainly be a hard time! Happy Thanksgiving!!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Skate Night with the school

Last night the boys school had free skate night at The Classic Fun Center. We decided it would be fun to take the boys. When we got there it turned out to be so much more than just skating, the had a jungle gym that was huge, a big set of bounce houses and 2 different skate rings and lots of games to play to earn tickets. The boys ran into alot of their friends and took off playing they were great sports to let Landon tag along. They were so cute helping him up into the jungle gym and holding his hand while he skated. It was a really fun night and a great way to spend our Friday evening together!!

Weekend Getaway.

Last weekend Layne's work flew our out to Oregon for their annual service weekend retreat. It is always super nice and all expenses paid. This year was no different. They put us up at the Hood at Mt. Fort. It was beautiful. Our rooms were amazing as usual, the food was great and the entertainment was so much fun. Friday when we got there we had lunch, met up with all of the other workers and hung out after dinner they had a fun little party where everyone gets together and playes games, watches movies etc then we headed back to relax and enjoy the fireplace in our room. . Saturday they had a big buffet for breakfast then we had the choice to play in a poker tournament or do what we liked until the big dinner. Layne and I aren't great at poker so we decided to spend the afternoon just us. We went back to the room to relax for a while, watched a few movies then decided to go to the hot tub. It was a beautiful setting, it was outdoors amongst the beautiful scenery but the water just hot enough to keep us warm and massage our backs for a good hour. The nice thing was it wasn't to hot for the baby so I got to enjoy as well. Once done we headed back and got ready for the dinner. They had a huge banquet with amazing food, gave away prizes and talked about the company success. Once done they had dueling pianos for entertainment which was a blast. People requesting songs, singing along it really was so much fun and we stayed up much to late. So Sunday morning came we slept in till 10 which is almost unheard of when we have the kids then we got up got ready and headed over for another yummy breakfast, we went to the gift shop to get the boys their prizes and headed back to the airport. We watched the football games and had snacks there until it was time to come back home. It was such a nice, fun relaxing weekend and such an amazing thing that Layne's company does to say thanks for all of their hard work and give a little back!

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Halloween this year was hectic, crazy and fun!!! My 3 little dudes were a dragon, a cop, and a ghost buster. Its so fun each year seeing what they will pick to be. On Tuesday night we went to my work party. The kids always get tons of candy, its indoor and they also get to go through a spook house, air hockey, table soccer,  color and karaoke. They always love to visit my work. On Wed it was the parade at the boys school, I helped in Stefons class party, we went and visited lots of family so the boys could show off their costumes and then headed home to meet up with cousins and friends to go trick or treating. Layne brought home Chinese food which was amazing and totally hit the spot! Due to Stefons recent surgery he wasn't able to walk much so we pulled him in the wagon. We went all around Bountiful which the people here are crazy they give out full size candy bars, king size candy bars, stuffed animals, ramen noodles etc. My kids loot this year is totally INSANE! I think we will be donating some to a local shelter or something. It was alot of fun though and such nice weather this year! I love the holidays. Family time is irreplaceable to me!

Stefons emergency surgery

A week ago Thursday night we went to Laynes moms house as usual for Thursday dinner. When we got there Stefon had been sleeping for 2 hours and not acting like his normal self. Layne and I talked to him for about 20 minutes and couldn't get anything out of him. Finally Layne started pointing to different things on his body and pressing a bit on his tummy to see if it hurt when we did it to his left side nothing when we did it to his right side he said ouch and about 2 mins later puked everywhere. So we thought ok maybe he has the flue. We got him all cleaned up and left him resting on the chair while we ate. When it got time to go home and for Stefon to move he couldn't he cried out so hard it was killing him to move even a inch. Layne carried him to the car and we headed to take the other 2 boys home and Stefon to Insa Care we knew something was wrong. When we got there the evaluated him he couldnt walk on his own and had a slight fever. The doctor at the kids care normally works up at Primary Children's and said we needed to go there right away he was sure it was Stefons appendix. We drove up there Stefon crying the whole way each time we hit a bump. The kids care had called ahead and got us right back. They right away drew his blood and then sent him in for a ultrasound. They could see right away on the ultrasound that his appendix was really inflamed they brought in the head radiologist to check and for sure they were right. Stefon had appendicitis and would need surgery soon. At this point it was about 11:30 pm. The surgeons came in let us know we would be admitted right away and that surgery would be at 9 am. They showed us a video of 2 different ways they could do the surgery the old fashioned way or laprascopic which would have 3 different incisions but not nearly as big. That's the way we decided to go. They sent us upstairs for the night and got Stefon on some antibiotics right away. They made sure to keep him on pain meds and fluids all night. Even with the pain meds it was a long night! Poor guy couldn't sleep more than about an hour. He had me lay in his bed with him and hold him. It was so sad seeing him in such pain. At 9 am they came to get us and bring us down. Its amazing the emotions that ran through me the whole stay that same er room, surgery hall, drop off point. the smells my little brain was everywhere!! They said the surgery would take about an hour. The doctor came back in to get me once it was done and said his appendix was huge and that we were super lucky it hadn't burst! Talk about blessings I am so happy that it didn't burst. Stefon woke up in a lot of pian they had to re medicate him 4 times before he woke up semi ok and able to go back up to our room. Through out the day he had lots of visitors and people coming to check in on him and bring him prizes and stuff he was such a trooper. We stayed the night one more time and the next day around 11 am they released him. Things have been pretty sore for him even still today but he is making great progress and is recovering well. I am so thankful for doctors and modern day medicine that helped to make him feel so much better. It was quite the few days but I am thankful we had the right resources and help to pull him through!!

Family Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

We met up with our friends the Websters and went to this fun Pumpkin Patch in Farmington. Layne pulled Landon in the little wagon for a while and the boys each needed a turn to pull the wagon to. It was funny as the wagon was twice their size. The boys looked around for their perfect pumpkin and once they found it put it in the wagon. They each picked a little one for Kaels grave as well. Once we paid there was this little corn maze that the kids ran around in for a while and we chatted it up with our friends all along dotting on their new little guy Tracker. He was so stinking cute!! Once the kiddos got worn out and cold we headed out to dinner. It was such a fun night catching up and finally meeting their sweet baby boy!! They are such great friends and people it is a joy to be around them!!

Field Trip to the Pumpin Patch

The Wed before Halloween Landons class went to the Pumpkin Patch. It was fun to tag along and see his cuteness and excitement. There was a little tipee that we all went in while the teacher read a story and the kids sang a few songs. Then they got cupcakes and juice. Once everyone was done the kids got to go out looking around and pick their favorite pumpkin. It was such a fun time!!

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