Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Emergency Surgery

Friday August 16th Daxton started complaining during the day that his stomach hurt when he was coughing, by 6 pm it was really bothering him so I told him to lay down and rest, 10 pm rolled around and he started throwing up, not being able to move, pale as a ghost, crying in so much pain.... I knew right away it was his appendix... same stinking symptoms as Stefon that happened only 10 months ago. So up to Primary Children's I went to take him to figure out if my assumption was right. It took 5 hours in the ER that night there were so many sick kids, life flight and ambulance it was insane.. sure enough his white blood cell counts were high and the ultrasound determined his appendix were swollen and needed to come out. By the time they admitted us it was 5:30 am it was also the day of Landys birthday party so there would be no rest for this mama. Layne and I decided we couldn't cancel the party so one of us would stay with Dax and one of us would go run the party. I headed home to get everything ready. There were 5 kids that day that needed surgery and Dax was 4th out of 5th so I had time to run the party and still make it back before they took him into surgery. Layne went home to get some things taken care of and I stayed with Dax. The surgery took a little over an hour the doctor came out said he had done well and that we were lucky his hadn't burst about 10 minutes later I could hear Daxton screaming down the hall in recovery I want my mom... they called me in even though they usually make parents wait. Daxton was going crazy.. he was up on the bed thrashing his body around so upset he was trying to get off the bed, he pulled his IV out and was yelling at the top of his lungs. They had me hold him down and put a new IV in his foot so that they could give him more meds to sedate him again.. it was horrible to watch I felt so bad. Luckily once he woke up for the second time around after being sedated again he was much calmer. We spent the night again that night and most of the next day at the hospital they didn't release us until about 9pm due to Daxton being in so much pain. Daxton had a few visitors including Spider man since he had to miss him at Landon's party. We sure had a awesome Spider man ,  luckily around 7pm it was manageable so we could go home. He is doing quite a bit better now and just has to be careful with his stitches in his 3 incisions. I am so thankful that we caught it early and for modern day medicine that was able to take care of it right away. Such a crazy thing to happen to 2 kids in the same family not even a year apart but we managed and just kind of have to chuckle about it now.. sometimes I wonder about our luck. Just another reminder to not take anything for granted and to live every day to its fullest. A million thanks to all of those that helped bring in dinners, visited at the hospital and brought Daxton prizes. It sure helped him out alot!

Landon turns 4!!

On the 12th of August Landon turned 4 years old. I can not believe it has been 4 years already. He is growing up so fast and is such a smart kid! He is so funny, loving and a great big and little brother. He is always trying to help out with Tiara and loves to be involved in what "his boys" (Daxton and Stefon) are doing. He is pretty easy going loves to sing any where he goes. He has quite the moves when it comes to dancing and will talk  your ear off. I am so thankful to Landon for the love and light he brings to our family! For his 4th birthday he decided he wanted to have a Spider man party at the park. It was so much fun I invited spider man to come, we had a pizza party, a pinata and of course Spider man  Cake. He had tons of friends and family come and was spoiled and loved on by all. He kept asking Layne and I for bowling pins and a bike. So we found him this really fun bike that looks like a motorcycle and got his spider man bowling pins. It was a great party and a fun way to celebrate such a special boy. Happy Birthday buddy mommy loves you!!

Trying out the solids...

At Tiaras 4 month appointment with the CF Clinic the dietitian said we were good to go with starting her on other solid foods other than applesauce. They like them to start a bit earlier to help them get more calories. So about a week ago we decided to try it out. Tiara LOVES food! So far we have just done the cereal and bananas but she has gone crazy over both. If I don't give her enough she freaks out until I give her more. It is so funny. I love watching her growing and trying out new things. Such a fun time!

Birthday Date

Each year for the kids birthday we like to take them on a special 1 on 1 date. We let them pick where they want to go and do for the day. This year it has been a bit busy with a new baby, working, and a ton of family things coming up we didn't quite have the time so I decided to take all 3 boys on a combined birthday date. They decided to go to Hollywood Connection. It was so much fun we rode all of the rides, played mini golf, played the arcade games and then had nachos, ice-cream and sodas from the little cafe they have there. The boys loved having each other to go on rides with and I even got brave and went on the rides ha ha. Pretty sad my kids are braver than me... maybe that comes with getting older I'm not sure but we sure had a blast! The kids got lots of tickets from the arcades and all picked fun prizes and then we headed home. It was such a great afternoon spent with the boys!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


Oh man do I have some major blogging to catch up on but tonight I just cant. Oh how grief is such a crazy thing... you would think almost 5 years out of this I wouldn't have hard or bad days... alas still I do. Tonight is one of those nights. The pain is so strong it stings with such a pain I can hardly breathe... I wish it didn't hurt so bad, oh how I wish you were here. Tomorrow your brothers start school. I am so happy for them yet so very sad that you aren't here. You would be starting Kindergarten.. I think that's why this is so very hard for me... I see all of those cute kids ready to stat school, start their new adventures it should be you. Your little cousins, neighbor kids, friends it should be you and sadly it isn't and I wish so badly it was. The grief is consuming, its all I can think about tonight. I cant sleep, my eyes are blood shot from tears and the hole in my heart is gaping open. I miss you so much! Who would you be? What would your personality look like? What would you look like? What would you love? What would you totally hate? AHHH the questions are endless. It stings, I cry and I just wish I had the answers! I wish I knew maybe that would make it a bit easier? Probably not. Would you like school? What would be the easy subjects? What would be the hard ones? I am listening to the song "Who you'd be today" by Kenny Chesney over and over again. I wonder is there school in heaven or do you just know everything you need to up there? Are you watching over me thinking I'm so silly for being so sad? I know I shouldn't be but the missing I oh so great right now. I love you so much baby boy! You are forever a baby in my mind.. I cant see you any other way... Are you still a baby or a big 5 year old? Can you believe it has really been almost 5 years since the day we had to say goodbye for now? I really cant it doesn't  seem real. Seems just like yesterday.  I hope you know how much I love you sweet boy. You mean the world to me, you are my everything. Thank you for all the lessons you have taught and continue to teach me. I know I have lots to learn and big things to still figure out but I am working on it...  am working so very hard. I love you so much. Maybe you can hang out close by tomorrow. I could use a little wink or a little hug. Thank you for being you, for choosing us and helping me to become the woman and mom I am today. I love you forever and am forever grateful to you. If you do go to school in heaven I hope you have an amazing 1st day tomorrow. I love you to the moon and back sweet boy. With much love always!! Mom!!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

4 months old

Holy smokes another month gone by. I swear the days get faster and faster!! Tiaras little personality is really starting to shine through and I love it. She is so smiley and happy all the time with the exception of when shes hungry... then watch out!! This month Tiara learned to laugh out loud it is hilarious I could listen to it all day long! She is holding on to her toys now and tries to get everything to her mouth. She has mastered  putting the binky in and taking the binky out. She can hold her own bottle and tries to help me spoon her, her enzymes its the cutest. She loves to play with her brothers whether its watching them play and be crazy or them playing with and talking to her. She can roll both ways now from belly to back and back to belly. She holds her own head up great! She still loves to sing songs and will always quiet down when I sing to her which is great because this month we started what is called CPT. CPT is chest physical therapy and is done to help prevent sickness with cystic fibrosis. She isn't showing any signs of respiratory issues yet but they had us start this as a precaution. So we give her 2 puffs of albuterol and then do the CPT which is pounding on her for 24 minutes. There are 8 different spot that we pound on for 3 minutes each. Its more like tapping but they call it pounding and its purpose is to help loosen any mucus that may be building up to prevent sickness. I was a total WRECK the first time I had to do it. I bawled like a baby the funny thing is Tiara almost always sleeps through it she doesn't seem to mind it much and if shes not sleeping as long as I sing to her while I'm doing it she is fine. I'm happy that she hasn't been sick yet and am so very thankful that they have us starting this now so that she is used to it should she get sick. She still loves her baths and loves to get rubbed down with lotion now. She loves to go on walks in the stroller especially when I just put her in the seat part and not in her car seat, she also loves to play with her toys on the floor and for us to read her books. This month I found a book at Toys R Us that you can put pictures in. I put a picture of her with Layne, me, her and the boys, all of us as a family, a few of just her and then a picture of Kael. She loves to turn the pages and always smiles so big when she sees the picture of  Kael it melts my heart! Things she doesn't love is me wiping under her chin, if we leave her along in a room while she is awake and  loud noises. Her stats this month are that she is 12 lbs. 4 oz. which is 25% and 24.5 inches which is 75% still skinny and long. Her head is in the 50% at 16.5 inches. I cant put into words how thankful I am for this sweet, amazing little girl. She has brought us so much happiness. Her brothers adore her, they dote on her all day long, her daddy and I are smitten with her and every where we go people stop to tell us how beautiful and special she is. She is so loved by our extended family as well and is defiantly a little princess. I am so thankful that she gets to be a part of our lives and am thankful for every minute, second, hour day that we get. Its all going so fast I am trying to just soak it all up. Happy 4 months baby girl. Cant wait for many more to come!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Bear Lake Fun

Last weekend our friends invited us up to their cabin at Bear Lake. We got a boat a few weeks ago so we were super excited to go up and get out on the lake. Friday night we headed up and came home Monday night. It was such a nice little getaway and seriously we all had a BLAST. We played games, watched movies to relax, built sand castles, boogie boarded, tubed, had lunch on the lake on the boat, swam, skipped rocks, took naps, had tasty raspberry milk shakes, BBQ'd and built memories to last a life time. We are so lucky to have such amazing friends!

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