Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Memorial Day

Memorial Day weekend was full of fun, happiness, a few tears, remembering and lots of family time!! On Saturday Layne and I and the boys picked up his Mom and cousin Carlene and headed out for the graves. We went to 3 cemeteries and visited practically everyone.. we didn't make it to my Grandma Christensen's but I hope to make it up there this week :). Layne's Dad is a vet and is buried at the military cemetery it is so pretty there on Memorial Day they take the time to put a flag on every single grave with the wind blowing it is a sight to be seen!! After we hit all the graves we went to The Pizza Factory for lunch. It was so yummy!! Later in the day Layne surprised me with a babysitter for the kids over night and a overnight stay in Wendover. It was so much fun he got us a suite that had a hot tub right in the room and a steam shower. We had a good time chatting all the way down there, eating lots of yummy food, gambling (we broke even so you cant complain right?), and had a few yummy drinks!! Sunday we headed back home I had to work and Layne got the boys. Monday we had another fun filled day of Ihop with my sister for breakfast, shopping.. lots and lots of shopping (its never to soon to start for Christmas right), a yummy BBQ and lots of playing Lego's with the boys and wrestling. It was a great weekend of being together, remembering all those who we love that are no longer with us and to think of the real reason for Memorial Day. Thank you to all of those who fought and continue fighting for our country and our freedom. I hope you all had a gentle Memorial Day and were able to feel near to those whom you have lost. Much love to all my loved ones in heaven. I hope you all smiled from above as we remembered you!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Sharing Place

So the boys and I have been going to the Sharing Place for 2 years now. They are a fabulous organization that helps children with loss of a sibling/parent to help them cope. They do a talking circle, arts and crafts and lots of play time. The kids feel "normal" there because all of the other kids there can relate to what they are going through. Its also nice for the parents because while the kids have group the grown ups also have a group. It really is helpful and nice to have people to relate to. On Tues it was our last day until summer break. We had group and then a brunch and then they gave the grown ups candles and the kids bags of stones that help to remind them that their are "smooth time and rough times" and how to apply what they've learned during the break. It really is such a beneficial place!! So in June every year they sponsor this race. All the proceeds go to the Sharing Place since they are a non-profit organization. Layne and I are heading up the race this year. It is lots of planning and time and work. Its all worth it in the end though. My part is to help with the sponsors... so if any of you reading this know of someone who would be willing to donate or have any leads help a girl out :). Also if your in Utah and want to participate go to http://www.thesharingplace.org/ to sign up for the race. It will be the last Saturday in June this year. It is so fun and not really a race.. more of a fun walk/ride your bike/scooter kind of thing. So its very family oriented. So bring the kids get out of the house and get a little family exercise in. Its only 1 mile so everyone can do it!!! If you'd like to help or know of anyone contact me and get me the information!! Like I said any little bit helps!! My email is brigey66@hotmail.com or phone number is 801-631-2239!! Thanks in advance everyone!! Here's some pics of the kids from closing on Tuesday.


Holy smokes!! I cant believe this school year is over... where in the heck did the time go??? Stefon graduated his second year of preschool on Monday and Daxton graduated on Wednesday. I cant believe how fast this year went!! The boys have learned so much and grown so much its insane. I am so proud to call them my boys and cant wait to see the great things they do next year. They are so excited they will be able to go to the same school now and that they will go on the same days. It will make things a bit easier for me to :). Daxton took his final test on Thursday and passed with flying colors the teacher was beaming ear to ear with the progress Daxton made this year. He sure worked hard to learn everything he needed to. Stefon worked hard as well and is ready for the next step "the big school" as he likes to call it. We had a great time at the graduations and on Wednesday after Daxton was done with his we took the boys out to breakfast with both of their grandmas to celebrate their success. We had an enjoyable time and a great day!! Here are pics of their graduations.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Running with the Angels - In memory of Kael

On Saturday morning Layne and I and a bunch of friends ran in the Thanksgiving Point 5k Running with the angels. The proceeds from the race go to an organization that helps families who are in the same spot we were with Kael to help with medical costs, funeral costs etc. It was an AMAZING yet EMOTIONAL morning for me. I loved what we were running for, who we were running for and it was a beautiful day!! Its been so rainy here I thought for sure wed be rained out but guess what it was sunny as could be!! I had a in memory of BIB to wear and I put a few of the angels I know whom I was running in memory of. Kael of course, Ben my friends dad who recently passed away (she ran with us), Sheldon a friends fiance who passed away about a year ago (his fiance also ran with us), Tyler a co-worker who passed away almost a year ago (his mom and girlfriend also ran with us) and miss McKenzie whose family I love and adore so much and look up to so much (next year her mommy is going to run with us :) It was so much fun I'm so glad we did it. It was my first 5k ever and I did it in 44 minutes. Not bad for my first time, being out of shape and having a ton of hills and turns and curves!! I thought of all of the angels I know, I thought of all of you their sweet mommies and daddies their siblings their grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. I thought about how much life changes after you loose someone so important to you. I thought about how far Ive come yet how far I still have to go. I am so thankful to have met so many supportive amazing people. I love you all and all of your sweet angels. None of them will ever be forgotten!! I hope you had a peaceful weekend I am thinking of you all and praying for you all... All of the time!!! Lots of love to our angels who are in heaven watching over us, keeping us safe and strong!! xoxo

Daxton turned 6.

I cant believe Daxton turned 6!! Hes grown into such a sweet, smart little boy! I love him so much and am so proud to call him my son! He will graduate Kindergarten on Wednesday. It doesn't seem real!! Time has gone by so fast I still remember when I was pregnant with him waiting for the arrival of my first son! We spent all day Friday just being about him!! He went to school and took the class treats he was so excited he got to be the star of the week! We made him a poster that was all about him. After school I picked him up we went to his favorite restaurant Wingers he loves that place because you get popcorn while you wait :). He then chose to go to Nickelcade and play there for a few hours. Hes such a sweetie on the drive there he told me "mom I wish the clouds would part so I could see baby Kaels face, I know hes up in heaven doing his job to keep us all safe." Oh how he can pull at my heart strings. After a few hours playing around he decided he wanted to get his haircut so he would look nice for his party. So we went to the shop that cuts hair and then went to the store for him to pick a few toys. That night was his birthday party. He wanted a company called Scales and Tails to come. He invited about 16 friends and lots of family over for the occasion. We had dinner and then the reptile show. It was so much fun and he was so proud it was all for him. Afterwards we had cake and ice cream. He picked a Bakugan cake something hes getting more into. After cake and ice cream he opened his presents. Man was this kid SPOILED!! He got so much stuff and has so many people who love and care for him!! It was such a fun day all about him to show him how much he is really loved!! We had a blast I cant wait to do it again next year!! I love you Daxton with all of my heart. Thank you for being such a wonderful, amazing son!! Here a some pictures from our fun!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Landons eye surgery

So yesterday Landon had his eye surgery. I was anxious the whole time!! Driving to that hospital... the one we spent so much of our time at when Kael was alive, walking through the same doors we did while we waited for Kaels surgery to be done.. the smells the same nurses etc.. it brought back many emotions and flashbacks to Kaels short life. The surgery was a little over an hour long... it gave me lots of time to remember, worry and process what was going on back there. I was so nervous because they had to put in a breathing tube and just the word send chills up my back. Now don't get me wrong.. we did this surgery all in good cause. Landon will be able to see much better and his eyes will be able to focus. The good out weighs all of the bad!! But non the less my stress and anxiety was through the roof!! When the doctor came out to let me know that all was well I had a huge sigh of relief. It was time for me to go back to see him in recovery. He was FREAKING OUT!! Arms swinging, screaming at the top of his lungs trying to pull his IV'S out it wasn't good so the nurse decided to put him back to sleep for a while. It was a good thing she did he was much happier the second time around!! Yesterday he was a cuddle bug the whole day, he would try to rub his eyes and say "owie eyes, owie eyes". They are all red and puffy and are still leaking but the doctor thinks the surgery went well. Since he is so young we wont know for sure for a few weeks and there is a 30% chance they will have to repeat the surgery so for his sake and ours please keep your fingers crossed!! Last night while holding Landon I could smell that hospital smell, the medicine, the tape just the smell that brings me right back to Kael. I sure miss that little boy!! I know he was watching over Landon to keep him safe and strong for us!! I sure hope he knows how much I love him and that I think of him daily!! Thanks for all of your love and prayers Ill keep you all updated when we know more of the outcome of surgery :) here are a few pics from yesterday!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Spring Soccer

Its that time again!! The boys started spring soccer about 4 weeks ago. I love watching how good they are and how much the learn as each season goes on. Daxton has turned into a little defender and loves blocking goals from the other team. Last Saturday was their team picture days which is always fun. We have about 4 weeks left in this season and then summer will start. Its such a joy being able to let them do what they love!! Soccer is so fun to them and I love it when their little faces light up!! This time around they are the "Green Machines". The names they come up with are so funny sometimes but I love that they use their imaginations!! Here are a few pictures from the season so far!

Stefons Last Preschool Fieldtrip

About 2 weeks ago I went with Stefon on his last preschool field trip... Holy cow batman I cant believe this year is almost over and he will be going off to "big school" Kindergarten. We went to the humane society and the kids learned about dog safety and how to take care of animals. They got to make puppets and masks and also decorate signs for the animals cages to help get them adopted! It was so much fun and awesome to see the kids enjoy themselves so much. Its hard for me to grasp hes growing up so quickly!! He is such a stud and really enjoys school and is getting so smart I am so proud of him!! He makes me smile and laugh on a daily basis. He is super excited to be starting what he calls "big school" and I cant wait to see him succeed! Hes an awesome little boy. I'm so glad I got to be a big part in his preschool years and I cant wait to carry on the tradition when he starts Kindergarten. Here are a few pictures from our little trip.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Mothers Day....

Mothers Day for me is a bittersweet holiday. For me I am lucky enough to have living children on earth to snuggle, kiss, dance with, sing to and just love on where as some aren't so lucky. For that I am eternally grateful!! Then theres that dark side... the one no one likes to talk about.. they all know its there but aren't sure how to approach it. Missing the one little boy who isn't here, I don't get to snuggle or kiss on, the one I would give ANYTHING.... and I mean ANYTHING to love on, tickle, smell once more and look into his lovingly big brown eyes. Yesterday was a lovely day Layne and the boys did a great job keeping my occupied and my brain busy. The boys made Mothers Day cards at school and presents which they gave to me in the morning. Then Layne gave me a dozen peach roses and each boy gave me a pink rose :) having them walk up to me and give them to me saying "Happy Mothers Day" was so special, I also got a purse and I get to have my hair done tonight!! Super excited!! We watched movies, had lunch and chilled for a while. In the early afternoon we laid the boys down for a nap and I to decided to take a rest. I grabbed my special Kael pillow (my sister made it out of his blanket that he used and put a picture or him on it ) snuggled it up to my chest and cuddled in my blanket and fell asleep for almost 2 hours!! I was hoping to dream of Kael and while that didn't quite happen it was nice to have his pillow right there with me. We woke up and got ready to go to Layne's sides party. We were having a little get together and dinner. When the prayer for the food was said they blessed the people in heaven that had gone before us... I lost it when the prayer was done I had to get out of that room, I went to the bathroom and let loose I cried a cry I haven't for a while it was deep down, sobbing the painful kind of cry that makes your head hurt. I let go for a good 5 minutes before I could contain myself. I picked myself back up pulled it together and did my best to enjoy the rest of the evening. When we got home we laid the boys down Layne and I watched another movie having fun just being together and then I showed him the movie of Kael that the lovely Malory made. Oh how I love that movie. I could watch it 100 times a day! It was so fun to watch it with Layne, see all the pictures, feel his sweet spirit and remember the 4th little boy who should be here. I miss you like crazy Kael! I love you and think of you everyday!! I cant wait for the day we get to be together again. What a great Mothers Day that will be to have all 4 of my boys! Thank you for making me the mother I am today!! I hope I'm living to make you proud!! I hope Mothers Day was good for all of you as well. I hope it was gentle and filled with love, happiness and memories. Here are a few pictures from my day

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