Faces of Loss May writing Challenge....

So a while back I was featured on the web site Face of Loss Faces of hope. Their URL is http://www.facesofloss.com/ each month they have a writing challenge and I decided to join in this month. Their topic this month is Mothers Day.... Mothers Day is so different for me now... I remember the first Mothers Day after Kael had passed I cried the WHOLE weekend. I was devastated and didn't think that I deserved to celebrate mothers day since my most recent baby had passed. I cried feeling sad, angry, devastated, guilty, rethinking it all and just wondering why... what had I done to loose one of my babies? My husband was very patient and held me and told me that of course I am still a mother, I had at that time 2 living children and that Kael was still my son and would be celebrating from heaven. It helped but that first Mothers Day stunk!! It was like a HUGE blow to myself and a reminder that one of my precious babies was missing. This year I will do my best to stay happy and positive. I have 3 sweet precious souls in my life to remind me that I am a mom and that my love for them is deeper than any other kinds of love. Kael my angel in heaven showed me that love and taught me so much!! I am so glad that I got to be his mother. He taught me how to really love my babies, how to be patient, kind and caring more so then I ever thought would be possible. I will think of him on mothers day like I do every day but I will do my best to make it all the happy, positive memories. He brought so much to my life and changed how I will live forever!! He taught me to be more forgiving, more giving, and how to make a difference in this world!! Mothers Day is so important for me. It reminds me to be grateful for all that I have and not take one second for granted because life can throw curve balls at any time!! I am so thankful that I am able to be a mom. I wouldn't change it for the world and I do my best daily to be the best mom to all 4 of my boys. I am so thankful to know the true unconditional love of a mother. I am so thankful for my mom and all that she taught me. I am thankful also for the community of Baby Loss Moms for all of their love and support and gentle reminders of our angel babies gone to soon. I wouldn't be where I am today without them!! I'm sorry that we all had to meet the way that we d1id but I am certain that our angels I'm heaven led us to each other!! Thanks t0 all of the moms in my life you have all truly made a difference. I hope that you all have a happy, loving peaceful mothers day!! I will be thinking of all the moms and for those of us with angels in heaven I will be thinking of all of our babies there as well!! Happy Mothers Day everyone!!