Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mothers Day....

Sweet Landon 6 months
At Raging Water with the boys in the summer

Me and Kael at Primary Childrens

beautiful waterfall picture

Another beautiful picture.

So Mothers day is quickly approaching. Last year at this time I was a total mess all week.. I cried alot and did not want Mothers Day to come. This year isn't much different. I haven't cried as much but thinking of the day stresses me out and makes me sad. I know I am a mother and I have 3 beautiful boys still here on earth with me but I just don't feel like a complete mother with out my sweet Kael. I miss him so much and wonder what I could have done differently. I often feel guilty wondering what I did wrong so that he couldn't be here on earth with us... Trying to process it all still hangs heavy on my heart. I do know that because of the loss of Kael I cherish every single moment I have with Daxton, Stefon and Landon and my hubby Layne. You never know what life will bring and we cant take even 1 single day for granted. I am grateful for that lesson but don't understand why I had to loose 1 to learn it. This probably all sounds crazy but its what runs through my mind some days. I will do my best to be happy as can be for my sweet boys still on earth with me this mothers day and hope and pray that Kael knows how much his mommy loves him!! To all you sweet mothers out there baby loss or not I hope you have a great Mothers Day and that you feel appreciated for all the hard work we as Mothers do!! Thanks for all the support and love you give me! P.S. thanks for the beautiful waterfall picutres from a fellow baby loss mama by the name of Lisa you can view her blog at waterfallangels.blogspot.com . They mean the world to me!!


Sherry said...

Mother's Day is such a bittersweet day for mommies like us. I am so with you on all the conflicting emotions that you touched upon...I am very sorry for your loss too...Thank you for the thoughtful message you left on my blog.


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