Mothers Day....

Sweet Landon 6 months

At Raging Water with the boys in the summer

Me and Kael at Primary Childrens

beautiful waterfall picture

Another beautiful picture.

So Mothers day is quickly approaching. Last year at this time I was a total mess all week.. I cried alot and did not want Mothers Day to come. This year isn't much different. I haven't cried as much but thinking of the day stresses me out and makes me sad. I know I am a mother and I have 3 beautiful boys still here on earth with me but I just don't feel like a complete mother with out my sweet Kael. I miss him so much and wonder what I could have done differently. I often feel guilty wondering what I did wrong so that he couldn't be here on earth with us... Trying to process it all still hangs heavy on my heart. I do know that because of the loss of Kael I cherish every single moment I have with Daxton, Stefon and Landon and my hubby Layne. You never know what life will bring and we cant take even 1 single day for granted. I am grateful for that lesson but don't understand why I had to loose 1 to learn it. This probably all sounds crazy but its what runs through my mind some days. I will do my best to be happy as can be for my sweet boys still on earth with me this mothers day and hope and pray that Kael knows how much his mommy loves him!! To all you sweet mothers out there baby loss or not I hope you have a great Mothers Day and that you feel appreciated for all the hard work we as Mothers do!! Thanks for all the support and love you give me! P.S. thanks for the beautiful waterfall picutres from a fellow baby loss mama by the name of Lisa you can view her blog at waterfallangels.blogspot.com . They mean the world to me!!

Catching up.

The last few weeks have been busy with preschool, work, sharing place, karate, soccer and play dates. Were doing pretty good. Little bit of sickness. Stefon goes in on Friday to get his tonsils and adenoids out. Having to sit up at Primary Children's operating room stresses me out!! Not that I don't trust them because I do its the memories from that room that scare the crap out of me!! Kids are doing good though. Just a few more weeks of preschool and this year is over. Daxs birthday is coming right up and he is so excited!! He and I went on a mommy- son date last week as he had his Kindergarten orientation. He choose to go to Leatherby's before hand we had a great time! They are doing well in karate they have earned their 3rd stripe for the karate belts and a ton more stars they only need 2 more to move up to the silver patch!! Soccer started 2 weeks ago. They are playing great this season and really love that as well. Landons getting big he'll be 9 months old on the 12th I can hardly believe it!! Time goes so fast! I am grateful for my little family I love them all so much. Here are a few pics from the last few weeks!