A BLESSED LIFE!!!!

Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Emotions...




So as I said before Easter this year was hard for me. I had so many emotions the whole weekend. Of course I was happy for the kids but also very sad and angry at times. I would think that loosing Kael would get easier by now but to be honest this year was so much harder.... I hate the fact that he isn't here that Landon will never meet Kael. We got Landon out of the car at the cemetery for the first time and he was so cute at the grave babbling away I only hope he was talking to his brother... I hate that our family pictures are missing someone and that the only way I feel we get a real family picture is when were at the cemetery where Kaels little body rests. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to know that this is all real... this is really my life I have a baby buried in a small little blue casket with teddy bears and a few things inside to be with him. We decorated the grave with eater baskets, a lamb and windmill. Someone also left a little rose plant which was very sweet. It makes me happy to know were not the only ones that think of Kael. Well enough babbling for today. Kales birthday is one week from today so later this week I will post his story because on his birthday post I want it to be about his special birthday celebrations.... Love you Kael always thinking about you!!

5 comments:

Andrea said...

I am glad that you are able to still have some fun with the little ones that you have. I don't know what it is like yet to have my son die but I know one of these days I will know. It can't be easy and I keep you and your family in my prayers all the time. Landon and Kael did meet before Landon was born. Landon was probably getting great tips from Kael on what to expect and how to tease his brothers when he gets older. :) It must really stink to watch life and realize that this is your life but it is all wrong nad it shouldn't be this way. That is how I feel often. Keeping you in my thoughts! HUGS!!!!

The Brady Bunch said...

I am so sorry that you are hurting...I know that it has to be so hard to not be with him right now. You are such a strong woman and an amazing mother to ALL of your boys. Know that we pray for you often. We love you and your family and hope that time will heal all things. It is so comforting to know that this life is not the end and that you will once again be able to hold Kael in your arms forever!!!

steve and jessica said...

I am so sorry...you are in our thoughts and prayers.

peach said...

You are not the only ones thinking of him. Here's and idea - we made a build-a-bear bear to use in all our family pictures in place of our Olivia. Check out our blog archive for pictures. It works great and i feel she is remembered. XOXO

The Hammonds said...

I wish you didnt have to go through this and I wish you could have a true family pic including your angel Kael

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