Right Around The Corner.....

In one week from today it will be the 4th anniverssary of Kaels passing. Somedays it seems like just yesterday and other days it seems like FOREVER. Its gotten easier as far as day to day goes but is still super hard to have one of my kiddos missing. I remember back to those amazing days when he was home. I can still smell his sweet smells, remembering his sweet smile, his coos and his redish tinted hair. Oh how I love that sweet boy. Can it really have been 4 years since we saw his sweet eyes? I hope hes dancing and playing and teaching and learning in heaven. I know hes watching over us every single day. I love you and miss you sweet boy!!

CIRCUS!!!

Today was the magical day the ones the kids have asked about going to for a few months now once they heard it was coming. I never told them we got tickets so it was a BIG surprise for them when they finally found out. They were so EXCITED!! We got there early enough that the kids got to go down on the actual stage and play with the clowns, get tattoos and see the elephant up close. This year it included dragons. It was so fun to watch their faces through out the entire show. There were elephants, lions, tigers, cougars, dogs, cats, gymnasts, dragons, motorcycles and more. It seriously lasted almost 2.5 hours and the kids were glued the whole time!! Of course you cant go to the circus with out treats so we got popcorn and snow cones. The kids all got to choose a souvenir as well. Stefon picked a dragon, Daxton picked a light up mow hawk and Landon picked a light up spinny dragon toy. Its so rewarding to watch the kids have so much fun!! It makes being a mom even better!! It for sure is one of the greatest shows on earth!

Chuckie Cheese

While Layne is away up in Wyoming helping his brother out with his antelope he just caught on the hunt I took the boys on a little mommy date to Chuckie Cheese last night. It was lots of fun!  We played games, rode rides, ate yummy dinner, laughed, played on the play ground and won lots of tickets to get some awesome prizes. It was such a fun time. I love spending time with my little men!

Ocktoberfest

Last weekend we headed up to snowbird for the annual Oktoberfest. We took the kids along this time because there were so many fun activities for the kids as well. It was a blast we rode on the tram up to the alpine slide which was a blast. Daxton was brave and rode by himself, Landon rode with Layne and Stefon rode with me. After we were done we took the boys down to get their faces painted and to have yummy lunch. We watched the dancers, and the singers Landon loved the music it was so fun watching him dance along. The weather was beautiful and the leaves have started to change so the scenery was awesome as well. It was a great way to spend our Sunday afternoon!

Rainbows....

I have started this post and deleted it at least 5 times over the past few weeks. I know part of my audience severely struggles with this and I never would want to hurt any feelings. To those lovely ladies I hope you will still continue on with me during this journey and though the continuous grief journey. I wish I could hug each of you and tell you for sure you are next. I love you all so much and am so thankful for all of you!! I found out 6 weeks ago that I am pregnant. Today I am 10 weeks and a day along. I usually find out quick as I get super sick right from the get go. This time hasn't been as bad but I still am feeling the effects. I wont complain though not a ounce as I know it could be much, much worse! I have been to the doctor 2 times thus far once at 8 weeks 2 days and just yesterday at 10 weeks.  The first picture is at 8 weeks 2 days, the second is at 10 weeks. The baby is looking good, heart beat is at 150 and it is measuring exact to my dates. I am so thankful to the lord for every day that I get with this little blessing. As to be expected I am worrying my brains out as I know all to well that it doesn't always go as expected. All I can do is trust in the lord that this little baby will join our family healthy and happy. I am lucky enough to go back to the doctor who delivered my other babies and knows Kaels story to a T. We will be watching this little one very closely and as it comes time for our 20 week scan I will go back to the specialist who watched us all through out our last 14 weeks with Kael. If the scan looks good we will just continue on as normal through out the remainder of the pregnancy. He mostly is sending me there for my scan for peace of mind as he knows how stressed out I get. For a repeat of what happened with Kael the chances are slim to none but alas they are still there and he wants to ease my mind. I cant believe we are on this journey again for a while there I thought it might never happen again.. I am not the most patient person in the world. Now I just sit back and do my darnedest to keep this baby safe and healthy. I thank the lord every night and beg Kael to watch over his little sibling and to keep them safe. I am ever grateful for this little life to join our family!

Daxtons surgery

On Friday I took Daxton up to Primary Children's to have his tonsils and adenoids out. Hes been having some issues with sleeping and when they checked it out his were HUGE!! We scheduled the surgery for the day he went off track at school to make sure he had plenty of time to recover. He was such a brave boy the night before as we were driving home he told me he knew hed be ok because Jesus and baby Kael would be watching over him:) So sweet. We checked in at 8:30. A room I know about a little to well. To my surprise I wasn't upset, I wasn't sad actually a deep appreciation came over me as I thought about all of the amazing things that happen in that hospital. For all of the kids they help each and every day and for how well they treat each child special. Daxton enjoyed the waiting room as he played with the train table and the game cube. Everyone was very nice and explained to him exactly what to expect. I walked him to the doors and off he went. I got to the waiting room to a friendly face. The same sweet lady who was always in the waiting room with Kael and even for the boys tubes was in there. We chatted for a minute she remembered me. Once again so glad with the love that the people of the hospital have. Daxs doctor came in once he was done to let me know it had all gone smooth and that it was a good thing they had taken them out. I had to wait about 20 mins for him to come out of sedation and then I could see him. He was so brave, the nurses were so nice the 1.5 hours we were there after seemed to fly by. Its a few days later now and today seems to be a bit better day. He is looking a bit better and not needing his pain meds as much. I sure love that boy and am glad that everything went so smooth!! And I'm sure now he will be much happier now as he will be able to breathe and sleep much, much better!

Landon goes to Preschool!

Where has the time gone? I cant believe little Landon started preschool. He just barely turned 3 but I like to send my kids for 2 years so off he went. He was soooo excited to start school and have his own back pack. Ever since the boys started he has been patiently waiting for his turn. It was so cute to see his excitement. Once he got home from school he couldn't wait to show me all of his papers and then once Layne got home he couldn't wait to show him either. He is such a smart boy I cant wait to see what he learns this year. My baby boy is GROWING UP!!