Another Loss....

This wasn't the post I had expected nor wanted to write... I was hoping a few weeks down the road to surprise everyone with a happy were expecting post little to my dismay plans don't ever seem to go quite as planned. The day after Kaels birthday Layne and I discovered I was expecting.We were so excited as we had been planning for this for a while now! I couldn't stop thinking it would be a great way to make that part of April not such a hard time in our lives. We of course immediately start making plans and looking up dates etc. This little one would be expected to join our family on or around Dec. 19th how perfect a Christmas present. We decided we would wait to tell our families for a while to be sure that things went smooth and surprise them on Mothers Day. Things seemed to be going smooth I wasn't puking my guts out like I usually do when I'm pregnant it was smooth sailing or so I thought. I had lots of other symptoms so I figured things were ok. Apparently God had other plans and decided to let this little one only stay for 7 weeks. I hit the 7 week mark yesterday when I started spotting. I called the doctor and they said some can be normal but it can also mean miscarriage he was booked so I had to wait for an appointment today things got worse over night and I knew before I even went in that it was over. The doctor confirmed it and we talked for a while about things to watch for, how common miscarriages are and when to start trying again. This loss is different yet still a loss. To all you BLM's out there who have gone through this multiple times I have the up most respect for you... you are AMAZING. This is not only emotionally hard but physically hard as well. The second I find out I'm pregnant I connect with the little baby growing inside of me. I'm sure that's the case with most moms. I have so much love, have so many hopes, wishes and dreams for the little baby. I'm not sure why these things happen but I can only hope and pray it is for good reasons... I'm sad, broken down and once again relying on Layne to be my rock. He is amazing and for that I am thankful. I had hoped miscarriage was one statistic I wouldn't be a part of but alas I am. So Ill try not to be to sad and upset and once again pick my heart up off the floor and just hope and pray that sometime in the near future we are able to get pregnant again with a healthy little baby.