Doing good in his name...

I mentioned at the first of the year of the 4th of every month I wanted to serve someone else in honor of Kael. The 4th is the date of the month he passed away. Last month I donated a bunch of stuff to primary children's hospital and read some stories to some sick kiddos there. This month was a bit different let me paint the picture for you.... Yesterday Layne had to go in for a minor surgery.. (he is rebounding fairly well and doing pretty good so yay). While we were in the room waiting for him to get his meds to get started we couldn't help but over hear a younger boy in the hall. He kept running away from his parent saying "I'm outta here" and "I am not doing this". We saw him run by one time and I could tell he was autistic. I noticed he was wearing a Jazz shirt. I overheard the nurse asking him questions about the Jazz team and had he watched the game the night before. Between the nurse and his parents they couldn't get him side tracked. He was adamant he was not taking the meds they wanted him to and he was not having his procedure done. After about 4 times of this happening I looked over to Layne and said I really want to give him our Jazz tickets for tomorrow night. I figured Layne would be under the weather today and id rather be here to help him out. Layne said go ask his mom. I walked down the hall and found his mom and asked her if it would be ok if I offered the tickets to her son if it would help calm him down. With tears in her eyes she said I didn't need to do that but I was adamant I wanted to. She called this handsome young man over and I looked at him, I felt such a strong spirit about him and asked him if he liked the Jazz and would he like to go to the game. A big grin came across his face and he quickly said YES!! I asked him if he knew who the Jazz were playing and he said quickly the Lakers. He proceeded to tell me he loved the Jazz but also had a Kobe poster on his wall so the game was perfect. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and told him that the tickets were his if he would just listen to his mom and the nurse. He happily took them from me and drank his medicine down right away. They were able to get his procedure done with no other problems. The mom came up to me and thanked us 3 different times. She told us how they'd been in the day before trying for 4 hours to get it done and he wouldn't budge. His doctor came in to thank us and tell us what an amazing thing it was for  us to help him out. I didn't need the thanks though my heart was burning with happiness that I could bring a smile to this young mans face. So that was my good deed for the 4th of this month. I sure hope hes at the game tonight cheering loud as can be and loving every second of it. I would do it over again 1,000 times if I could. The feeling I had is one that I wish I could have every day!! Once they took Layne back in to surgery it was going to be about 2 1/2 hours. So since we were in Salt Lake anyways I took a little drive to a place called temple square. I went into the visitors center and took a walk to the top where there is this huge statue of Christ. Now im not the best church going person but I do believe there is a Christ and a heaven. I wanted to thank god for putting me in the right place at the right time that morning, pray that Layne's surgery went well and plead with him to hold Kael tight. Let him know how much I love and miss him and that I hope hes happy, healthy and safe. I miss him so much. The last few weeks have been very hard. Grief comes in such waves.. sometimes I can think of him and be happy, not have to worry about breaking down, having that knot in the back of my throat and stomach but still sometimes the grief is raw and real. I'm sure the ups and downs will be the rest of our lives. Its nice to know that theres sunshine though when those cloudy days are gone! I miss you like you cant believe Kael. I pray for you daily and plead that you know how much you are loved. Thank you for your love, example and heart. You taught mommy so much and made me such a better person. I love you to the moon and back sweet boy!!