4 years in heaven....

Thursday Oct 4th brought 4 years since Kael left this earth and earned his wings. All though day to day has gotten easier this specific day is always a hard one. I always bring myself back to that place, hearing those words, racing home, holding his precious body knowing his spirit was no longer there, handing him over to the mortuary, sitting on the couch surrounded by people but feeling so alone, not knowing what to say I remember saying to everyone I'm so sorry I dont know what to say. Ill never forget that moment sitting in Layne's moms front room staring knowing that this was real but trying to convince myself it wasn't. What a long yet short time ago that was. 4 years I cant even imagine what it must be like in heaven for 4 beautiful years. I'm sure Kael has learned and grown so much. His special little spirit I picture him flying free. I know he watches over us and I pray to him everyday to keep us all safe. I sure love my little Kael man. From the get go we knew he was a special spirit who would change our lives forever. How much though we never knew. This year I was so torn I wasn't sure if we should have a big celebration or keep it more low key. Things have been quite hectic and I haven't been feeling my best so we decided to keep it low key. We decorated his grave, and then did a balloon release that night. We let go many balloons, we wrote him messages, wrote the names of several other angels (post on that to come soon) kissed the balloons and sent them to heaven. I felt sort of guilty not making it a bigger production but I sure hope Kael knows how much he is loved and missed. I pray that we will be good enough to reunite with him someday. Happy 4 years in heaven baby. I hope your using your wings and changing heaven. I love you to the moon and back!!