Its your 3rd birthday Kael..... missing you so much!!

Dear Kael,

Today marks 3 years since you were born... oh how I miss you!! I remember the night before I went into labor I was so scared because you were just over 6 weeks early, we didn't know what to expect and what we were up against. Your labor went so fast you wanted out and you wanted it now, when you were born you were sure PERFECTION!! You were exactly 6 lbs, 18 inches and born right at 9am. To perfect for this crazy world! You fought so hard, you had every doctor that met you amazed and so confused at the same time. You beat the odds and made yourself strong enough to come home with us on 3 occasions. You mean the world to daddy, your brothers and I. Even Landon who came after you looks at your pictures and seems to know that you are something special! I cant wait for the day he will truly understand who you are and how special you are. The pain stings so much today, my chest is tight.. what I wouldn't give to hold you and sing you your 3rd birthday song! Ill do my best to live on your legacy, to make you proud and to make a difference in the world like you did for us! You taught me so much and you made me so proud. I was so lucky that you had me for your mom! Ill never forget the special times we had with you... blessing you, family pictures with you, every pictures of you that we have, the BYU game the night before you passed away, you were so peaceful that night, you loved being outside and looked like a major stud in your cougar gear!! Thank you for fighting hard enough to give us those priceless memories. I hope your birthday in heaven is a sight to be seen with many other babies gone to soon and the family members that hold you tight. I can only imagine a party with Jesus at the head of the table what a beautiful thing that must be!! I hope you have cake and you enjoy every second, I hope there are bubbles and balloons and laughing, smiling and dancing!! I cant imagine what it would be like for you today but I hope its the party of the year! You deserve it my sweet loving son!! We will be thinking of you all day! Taking TONS of blankets to the hospital that gave you life for as long as you were here (Ill post on that separately later), we'll go visit your grave and decorate it and send you balloons 36 of them one for each month!! We will go to the sharing place which has been AMAZING SUPPORT for your brothers and I even dad and celebrate your life with them!! Ill shed some tears but some are happy ones remembering all the good times we had!! I love you to the moon and back sweet Kael! I hope you know this and can feel our love everyday! If you can stop by for a visit today, id give the world to feel you near! Thanks for watching over us and keeping us safe!! I love you sweet boy!! HAPPY , HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope its wonderful!! Much love always,

Mommy!!