JUST DANCE!!!

For Christmas we got the Xbox with the Kinect it is so much fun!! We have had such a fun time as a family playing games and dancing away. The best part is on the Kinect games no remotes so no batteries HOORAY!! Last Saturday my brother Zack and his family came over for playoff football games, tons of food and the Kinect. We had so much fun dancing away and spending time together. Seriosuly such a blast!! You have to try it if you havent. Its fun plus a work out so a win/win situation!! Dont mind us in these dancing pictures but their to fun not to share!!

A Special Boy

Last Friday we had the joy of taking my brother Zack's son Kyle out for his birthday. Kyle just turned 17.. holy smokes I'm getting so old! I used to babysit that boy when he was just  wee little boy! Kyle is a very special boy and I hold him dear to my heart. He is autistic and has the heart of gold! All though he isn't as "advanced" as most 17 year olds he has a bigger heart than most full grown adults. If the world had more people like Kyle it would be such a better place! We took Kyle to pick out a movie and treats to buy and then went to the Pizza Factory. The kids all enjoyed their dinner and then we headed back to Kyles house to watch the movies and have treats. We built a big fire sat back chatted, relaxed and had such a fun yet simple night. I'm so glad that Kyle is in our family. I love that kid so much. He makes me feel closer to heaven through his innocence. Happy Birthday Kyle!

Walking with you...

Ive decided to do this link up with Sufficient Grace called Walking with you.. each Monday you write about something along the road with your baby loss journey. I'm doing this in hopes to help someone else out there, some one new to this cruel BL world, someone who is further on their journey and needing a little push, for me!! So that I can write out all of the details since I don't think I have ever fully written it out.  You can link you here. http://blog.sufficientgraceministries.org/category/walking-with-you/. So week one is the beginning... when did you get the news, when did your whole experience of pregnancy change.. so here it goes.

At my 20 week ultrasound we received the news from my doctor somethings were off and not measuring quite right, they wanted me to go see a specialist to see what was going on, I had alot more amniotic fluid then I should have and they weren't sure why. We were in the process of moving from New Mexico to Utah and my hubby was in Utah looking for a home for us so I went to the appointment all on my own. They did the scan and then wanted to rescan it was the longest hour of my life or so it seemed at the time. The doctors came in and told me a few things, that the babies hands weren't forming right, all of the extra amnio fluid and what all of that might mean. They told me many things, different diseases and told me that I should get an amnio to test alot of things out. I didn't have it in me to call my hubby.. I was bawling so I dialed his number and the doctor explained it all... we decided that I would wait to get the amnio until we got to Utah so that he could be with me. The next 2 weeks took FOREVER!! I had never prayed so hard, pleaded with god to please make my baby ok. To give me some peace and to make it for the next 2 weeks. When I finally got back to Utah we got the amnio scheduled and completed they told us the results would take a few weeks and confirmed through their scan that something was for sure not normal. They also weren't sure they were throwing around alot of names and possibilities but couldn't put their finger on which disease for sure. All that they knew was they were pretty sure  it was a neuromuscular condition just not sure which family it would fall under. I finally got the call a few weeks later with the results. Lots of negatives and inconclusiveness's. They still didn't know which direction to go in and said we would just take it a day at a time until the baby was born and then go from their with new testing. They weren't sure when he would be born but knew for sure it would be early due to the fact that he wasn't swallowing the fluids well and that I was getting huge. The last few weeks of my pregnancy taught me so much.. to pray more often, never take things for granted, to be a little more patient. All we could do it sit around and wait.

Ill never forget that day in that ultrasound I was heart broken that my baby would have to live a hard life and possibly even a short life but I knew I wasn't alone. I kept praying to god and I could feel his love near.. that has been key on this road... praying, pleading and hoping for some understanding.

Blanket Drive!!!!

So I mentioned in my new years post about goals for this year. For Kaels second birthday April 12th  I want to do the blanket drive again. Last year was huge and so, so AMAZING. Thanks again for all of your help I'm super excited to do it again. Since the 4th of the month was so soon this year I did a simple good act of service I was up at Primary Children's on the 4th so I took 2 bags of donations and spent a little while reading to kids. Next month will be much bigger but I was glad to be able to help in a small fashion for this month. Any who I want to get started now on this blanket/stuffed animal drive in order for it to be successful!! So if you'd like to donate blankets or stuffed animals shoot me an email to brigey5689@gmail.com  and Ill give you my address or phone number and Ill come pick the items up from you! They can be new or old but in good condition  Id like to have them all by April 1st so I can get them organized and donate them on the 12th in honor of Kael. The blankets can be new or ones that are used and in good condition.  The hospital can be so scary and it gets so stinking cold the blankets really help the little ones that are staying there to find just a little bit of comfort and keep their piggies warm. Please, please donate if you can! Thanks so much in advance for all of  your love and support!!

Utah Jazz!!

We love sports! The boys love playing them and going to sporting events so when my brother asked if we wanted to go in on season tickets to the Jazz we jumped at the chance! Our first tickets were for the Tuesday night game the Jazz won!! It was such a fun night. We had a little family date and my friend Chamica was in town so she came along as well!! Soda, nachos, chips, hot dogs the works. Lots of cheering, clapping jumping up and down and dancing. It was such a fun night! I look forward to going again and the boys cant wait either!! Lots of fun memories built and a great night! Good win Jazz!!

2012 a new year...

A new year is amongst us and I have big plans for this year... lots of things I want to accomplish and do!! Ill name them out so I can check back often and see where I'm at on the list. This will help me keep myself in check :).

* The 4th of every month I am going to do service, volunteer somewhere, help someone in need, give of myself in honor of my sweet angel Kael.
*Do the 2nd annual blanket drive for Kaels 2nd birthday.
*Make a tree for Kael for the Festival of Trees (I failed at it in 2011 but 2012 it will be done)
*Eat healthier.. I'm not going to set a weight goal because that never works but I want to eat healthier and cook alot more and work out as often as possible!!
*Take my boys out on more dates (this includes Layne and I dates and mommy and son dates)
*Take some time out for myself.. I don't do this very often and I tend to loose myself.. I want to focus on me a little more to make sure I am the very best person that I can be!!
*Go on a vacation with my family... we already have started planning this but I cant wait to actually go!
*Be a nicer person.. less judging of others, more forgiving and less grudgeful! (I try my best at this but can do so much better!!)
* Continue to be a big part in my kids education this includes volunteering each week, PTA and class parties etc.
* Learn a new skill id love to be better at being crafty so my goal is to complete a few craft projects this year!

I'm so excited for this new year! I cant wait for the possibilities family , friendships, putting more faith in God and thanking him for all that he has given me. I look forward to being a better me and helping others along the way!!

New Years Eve...

We had such a great time on New Years Eve!! We hung out with friends and family. Not a ton of people pretty relaxing and fun!! We played games, had noise makers, poppers, sparklers and did our annual breakfast at midnight! What a fun tradition it is becoming!! 2011 was a fairly good year, some ups and downs happies and sads, vacations, family fun times lots of stuff to remember. I am looking forward to the possibilites of 2012 and praying for it to be an amazing year!! I have lots of goals set for 2012 that will be in my next post :). Here are some pictures from our New Years Eve. I am so grateful for amazing family and friends!!