Kaels video

I am at a loss for words right now so this will be brief.... The AMAZING Mallory at Every Life Has a Story made this beautiful memorial video of Kael for me. I just want to watch it over and over and over again. Thank you so much Mallory! I will be sending a donation so I can get the copy in the near future!! Your work is AMAZING, the video is BEAUTIFUL a priceless memory for my sweet son... When pictures are all that's left... you hold them dear to your heart!! Here is the link if you would live to view Mallory's website and also here is the link to Kaels video. Thank you again I am in AWE!! Mommy loves you sweet boy... missing you so much!

Website URL : http://everylifehasastory-home.blogspot.com/ Kaels is the fist one since it was most recently added. Id love to hear your thoughts :) So much love!!

Faces of Loss May writing Challenge....

So a while back I was featured on the web site Face of Loss Faces of hope. Their URL is http://www.facesofloss.com/ each month they have a writing challenge and I decided to join in this month. Their topic this month is Mothers Day.... Mothers Day is so different for me now... I remember the first Mothers Day after Kael had passed I cried the WHOLE weekend. I was devastated and didn't think that I deserved to celebrate mothers day since my most recent baby had passed. I cried feeling sad, angry, devastated, guilty, rethinking it all and just wondering why... what had I done to loose one of my babies? My husband was very patient and held me and told me that of course I am still a mother, I had at that time 2 living children and that Kael was still my son and would be celebrating from heaven. It helped but that first Mothers Day stunk!! It was like a HUGE blow to myself and a reminder that one of my precious babies was missing. This year I will do my best to stay happy and positive. I have 3 sweet precious souls in my life to remind me that I am a mom and that my love for them is deeper than any other kinds of love. Kael my angel in heaven showed me that love and taught me so much!! I am so glad that I got to be his mother. He taught me how to really love my babies, how to be patient, kind and caring more so then I ever thought would be possible. I will think of him on mothers day like I do every day but I will do my best to make it all the happy, positive memories. He brought so much to my life and changed how I will live forever!! He taught me to be more forgiving, more giving, and how to make a difference in this world!! Mothers Day is so important for me. It reminds me to be grateful for all that I have and not take one second for granted because life can throw curve balls at any time!! I am so thankful that I am able to be a mom. I wouldn't change it for the world and I do my best daily to be the best mom to all 4 of my boys. I am so thankful to know the true unconditional love of a mother. I am so thankful for my mom and all that she taught me. I am thankful also for the community of Baby Loss Moms for all of their love and support and gentle reminders of our angel babies gone to soon. I wouldn't be where I am today without them!! I'm sorry that we all had to meet the way that we d1id but I am certain that our angels I'm heaven led us to each other!! Thanks t0 all of the moms in my life you have all truly made a difference. I hope that you all have a happy, loving peaceful mothers day!! I will be thinking of all the moms and for those of us with angels in heaven I will be thinking of all of our babies there as well!! Happy Mothers Day everyone!!

Daxs big fieldtrip :)

On Wednesday the Kindergartners got to go on their field trip to the Discovery Gateway Museum. Daxton was so excited that he got to ride the bus and that I got to come!! It was such a blast! We got there and got to spend about 2.5 hours exploring the museum and letting the kids play. I was in charge of 5 kids which was a little nerve wracking seeing as there was over 100 kids there I didn't want to loose any :). It turned out great though and I was able to have a little bonding time with Daxton. He loved being able to do all the things there and explore. One of his favorite buddies Dillion was in our group so that made him so EXCITED!! It was lots of fun and I am glad I was able to go! Its so crazy that this year is almost over and that Daxton will start 1st grade next year. He has learned and grown so much this year it is outstanding!! Hes sure come a far way. I love Daxton to pieces and am so glad that hes my son!! Here are a few pics from the field trip!!

EASTER!!

We had a good Easter I hope you all did to!! In the morning the kids woke up found their presents and went on a big Easter egg hunt! The crazy Easter bunny hid about 150 eggs at our house :). After playing with all their new stuff we got dressed and headed to the cemetery! We decorated Kaels grave for Easter and stayed while the kids played for a while and were all together for a bit. We then headed to get the drinks for our family dinner and then came home for a little quiet time. Once quiet time was over we headed to Layne's sisters house for dinner and another egg hunt for the kids. It was so insane there were probably 200+ eggs and candy all over the back yard! The kids had lots of fun with their cousins hunting for eggs. We stayed a few hours and then headed home since school restarted today the kids needed to get to bed. It was a lovely day with lots of fun and family. Watching the kids eyes light up when they see that the bunny had come and hunting for eggs is priceless. With their sweet innocence their sure joy its so amazing to watch. It helps take the sting away but it never ceases all the way. In the back of my head I'm always thinking of that amazingly sweet 4th little boy that should be running around and finding eggs, opening presents and laughing with his brothers. I can only imagine the Easter egg hunt they had in heaven!! What a sight that must be. I hope you all had an AMAZING Easter filled with love and joy!!

Stylish Blogger Award!!

I feel so happy getting this sweet blog award!! Thank you Melissa who gave it to me you can see her AMAZING work and remembering Sweet babies at her blog address http://www.inmemoryoflakenandangelfriends.blogspot.com/ she is the sweetest!! She donated blankets for Kaels drive and sent a sweet bear for his birthday!! Seriously AMAZING!!

So here are the rules you have to tell 7 things about your self and then give the award to 10 blogger friends. So here goes nothing.....................

1. I love CHOCOLATE!! Any and all kinds especially dark!! (This is not helping with my diet loss plan.)

2. I want to be a child psychologist when I grow up...( he he I guess that means when my kids are all in school)

3. I am the middle child of 7 kids

4. Im dying waiting for our cruise in July!! (Sometimes you just have to get away)

5. Im super excited for the upcoming things we have planned to honor and remember Kael

6. I am training to run a 5k on May 21st

7. I love playing the radio loud and driving down the street with the sun roof open!! ( Now if the weather would just cooperate!!)

So there you have it a few random things about myself!! So now I will award the next winners.. I love so many blogs really I do but 10 to link to is alot so I cant link to everyone! If you want to play along feel free!! So here they are

1.Kendra- http://www.kendraandryanwebster.blogspot.com/

2. Tiffany- http://www.inthebeginningtherewasgenesis.blogspot.com/

3. Tiffany- http://www.hollybfpbatman.blogspot.com/

4. Holly- http://www.carleighmckenna.blogspot.com/

5. Megan- http://www.wyattswhisper.blogspot.com/

6.Lara- http://www.onlyangelsmakethelist.blogspot.com/

7. Jen- http://www.lilyangelinesmommy.blogspot.com/

8. Tiffany- http://www.thebrokenroad.blogspot.com/

9. Jill- http://www.footprintsonourhearts.blogspot.com/

10.Alissa- http://www.kkbutterflywings.blogspot.com/

Small Miracles.

So this awesome lady by the name of Franchesca started this blog hop on the 19th of each month. This month she extended it for a week so I figured I would join in!! Its also Joyful Moments Friday on the Jones's blog so I figured why not combine the two!! For Franchesca's blog you can find her at http://www.smallbirdstudios.com/ and for the Jone's blog you can find them at http://www.joyfuljones.com/ So onto the fun now!! This week has been full of small miracles... I don't know if Kael knows I need him close alot lately or what but he has been sending so many signs!! I was at work this week and a friend of mine started instant messaging me.. she said she had a dream and she couldn't get it out of her head so she had to share it with me... she dreamt that I was crying and that a small sweet angel that looked like Kael came flying down onto my cheek and wiped away my tears..he told her that he was near and that his love for me and that him being there for me was what helped him go on and be a good messenger in heaven.... it really helped me feel him near for the rest of the day. The next day at work a sweet lady that I work with just came up to me out of the blue, gave me a hug and said I cant talk about this now but I just want you to know that Kael was lucky to have you as his mom as are your other boys... that also brought me peace since sometimes I doubt in myself that I did the best I could. Well finally today this will tie in with small miracles as well as the joyful moment we were dying Easter eggs and Daxton and Stefon both said "mom can we please dye some eggs for baby Kael I think he would like us to make him a blue and a orange one. " The are the sweetest boys!! They sure bring me joy and always when I need it the most. They still love and remember Kael which means the world to me!! I'm glad that they to always want to keep Kael a part of everything we do!! So now its your turn to tell me..... what are you small miracles and what brings you joy????? I hope you all have a happy Easter.. that you feel some peace and some joy. When we think about the real meaning of Easter the sacrifice and love it truly is an amazing thought!!

7 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday marked Layne and I's 7 year anniversary's!! What a ride its been so far. When you get married you never think about what could go wrong only the amazing things in life you'll experience. Well then REAL LIFE HAPPENS....... you find out what real love is and the hard things in life either make you stronger or break ya... Through thick and thin Layne and I have made it through it all!! He holds me up when I'm weak, makes me smile when I want to cry and holds me tight when I need that extra hug!! I love this man with all my heart. Every day brings a new love and a stronger bond!! I am so thankful for him and all that he does for me!! Since Layne usually heads up our anniversary plans I wanted to surprise him this year. I made weekend reservations up in Idaho at Lava Hot Springs. It was so much fun and so relaxing!! We spent time at the hot springs, ate tons of yummy food, took naps, chilled in our hotel room hot tub, had some yummy drinks and even did some karaoke!! He such a sweetie and dedicated a song to me ;) I love that man. To pay him back I sang a song for him to. We had a BLAST!!! We had yummy Thai food which id never had before and was actually really good!! It was fun to get away for the weekend and focus on just us!! I'm so thankful that 7 years ago I married my best friend!! Here's to many more happy, exciting, surprising fun filled years!