Day 25 and Daxtons first day of Kindergarten

Ok so I am combining these because my picture of day 25 is of course of this huge milestone in Daxtons life. I cant believe he is really in Kindergarten... holy crap where does the time go? He was so excited and brave to go to class. He got up and ate breakfast picked out his own outfit and wanted to do his own hair. He let me take a few pictures than off to school we went. I could tell once we got to the school he was getting a bit nervous. He started squeezing my hand a little bit harder then the bell rang. His teacher came out to get the kids and he eased up. He got in line after the boys and gave me a hug and a kiss. I told him to have a good day and he blew me a kiss goodbye. I was so much wimpier than him. I teared up a little bit and watched him go into the building. My baby is getting all grown up. He is so smart and I know hell do great at school. I am feeling so old these days with him starting school it just doesn't seem real. I love that boy with my whole heart!! I cant wait to go pick him up and see how school went!! Enjoy the pics from today.

Day 23 and 24

So over the weekend pics the day 23 is of my niece Macy. She is so cute and so fun to have around. I love her so much and shes such a poser. I loved this picture. Day 24 is of Landon I love this outfit my mom gave him for his birthday so of course I had to have a picture of it :0)

Days 20,21,22

Yay this will catch me up!! Layne comes back today so things shouldn't be so crazy going forward but well see. Day 20 is a picture of this very awesome necklace Layne got me in San Fransisco. Its the shape of a heart and inside it has 2 pieces of rice with 2 of my kids names on each. It is so cool. It also has blue flowers inside since we all have boys. Such a priceless gift. Day 21 is of the 3 boys wrestling.. that's right even Landon gets involved he thinks his brothers are so funny and loves to do what they are doing!! Today's picture is of the boys making welcome home cards for Layne. They are so excited that hell be back. Its been a long 2 weeks with out their daddy!! Hope you enjoy the pics!!

im back!! Days 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19.

So sorry for the delay!! I got to go out of town with my hubby to San Fransisco and it was amazing. He and I went there for our honeymoon so it was very fun to go back and relive part of it. Anyways so here are my pictures from those days I was gone up until today!! EEEK!! So Friday (Day 15) is the day I left the night before my oldest Daxton thought it would be cool to cut his own hair because he wanted to be like his dad.... well he used to have a mowhawk after his very professional cut not so much anymore.. I freaked out he looked ridiculous and of course Layne who usually cuts their hair was already out of town on business so I rushed him to the barber to fix it up here is the before picture.. can you see it he cut 3 different sizes EEEEK. He looks much better now and so grown up!! The next day is of the Alcatraz (Day 16) it is so beautiful there. I love the look of the ocean and this little jail with so much history. Then comes the one of Ripley's believe it or not the museum (day 17)was pretty cool. This particular picture is Layne and I in this cool pyramid room. The next is of us at the 49er game (day 18). Laynes been a huge fan his whole life and has never been to a game so he was like a kid on Christmas. It was so fun seeing him so excited at the game and to top it off our team won! YAHOO!! The next day is of a shot from the airplane (Day 19)... I think its so cool what the world looks like from up above. I pictured myself flying through the clouds with Kael. It was a sweet feeling. All in all this past week has been amazing. It was nice to get a break just Layne and I and do the things we really love together. I love him so much and am so glad he is my hubby. He amazes me each day and I just love him to pieces. I am so grateful for him and all of his love and support. I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Picture of the day and also a day of hope.

My picture today is not one that I actually took but I think its amazing. I found out about this Day of Hope a little to late this year to do anything but next year I will for sure be donating!! What a great thing to do to try and comfort another family that has just lost a baby. I think this idea is simply amazing! I love the picture and this website. Check it out for more information. Thinking of you lots today Kael and sending you much love. I keep the hope alive to keep your legacy going. I want to do good in your name. I hope I do enough to make you proud that I'm your mommy!! Sending love to all of our sweet angel babies in heaven and to all you mamas lots of love to you today as well!!

Day 13th picture...

Wow I cant believe its already been almost 2 weeks since I started this. Its been very fun to take the pictures and appreciate the daily things in life. Todays picture is of my 1 year old I ran to the bathroom for all of 2-3 minutes and when I came back in he had totally emptied the bottom drawer of his dresser... such a mischievous little boy already but oh how I love him!!

Days 10, 11 and 12

AHHH im sorry I am a huge slacker Ive been a bit busy and a bit down and really needed to post these pics so here ya go 3 in 1 day but their great pics as good as you can get from a camera phone anyways.... :0) So the first is of my fridge I know this sounds dumb but it has my kids art on it. I love to see how their growing and learning Stefon painted the picture you see with chocolate pudding... that's right I let them paint with pudding because im just "cool" like that according to Stefon, the next picture is of my mom she had surgery and this is a picture shortly there after she was being so crazy!! I love her to death she does so much for us! Today's picture is of Kaels grave.. I felt the need to be close to him today oh how I miss him so so much. I took my lunch there and ate it and talked to him and sang to him and blew him kisses. I'm sure the people driving by or in the cemetery thought I was crazy but its ok I really don't care. Its all I have and so they can think what they want to think. It was such a nice day sunny and warm. I laid by his headstone and just spilled my guts all the sudden this light calming wind started blowing for a few minutes I couldn't help but wonder if it was a sign from him. Oh how I love and miss him so much. Anyways hope you enjoy the pictures!! Much love to all.

31 in 31 pics days 8 and 9

Hi friends so I am a bit behind again but here are my pics from day 8 and 9. I will have to post Landons bday pics a little later as my hubby went out of town today for work and took the camera so hopefully my phone will work just as good!! So day 8 is of Landon diving into his birthday smash cake. He was very timid at fist but caught on soon after when there wasn't so much pressure from the big crowd. It was so funny had made a huge mess. Day 9 is of Landon sitting outside in his new chair he got for his birthday. He looks so grown up in the chair and thinks he is such a big boy!! Oh how much I love him. Its been a fun weekend. Hope that all is well.

Landon turns 1...........

I cant believe it today my baby turned 1. Last year at this time he was just a few hours old and we couldn't believe we had another happy, healthy little boy. Landons whole pregnancy I was a nervous wreck. Of course that was to be expected from the previous experience so when he was finally here and ok I broke down and let it all out. It was amazing to meet this sweet little boy. I know Kael was up in heaven ensuring he had a safe delivery. Landon gave us a run for our money. I had contractions off and on for 7 weeks before he made his entrance 2 weeks early. Man oh man was I so ready for him to be here! We love Landon and wouldn't trade him for the world. He is such a sweet little boy but has one fiery personality. Hes just about ready to walk and he crawls and scoots everywhere. He truly is our rainbow baby. He helped to heal our hearts some not all the way but gives us something to smile about. I am so grateful for the chance to be his mommy. He is always smiling and happy and loves to give hugs and kisses. He is simply amazing!! Today I took him on his birthday date to Chik fila and to the aquarium. He had such a blast he loved all the fishes especially the sting rays and the penguins. He loved to pet the sting rays and was so mad when we left that part to go see other things. Tomorrow well have his birthday party with friends and family it should be lots of fun. Happy birthday Landon I love you so much and am so glad you blessed out lives!!! Happy 1st birthday love always mommy!!

31 in 31 day 7

So today's picture is of Kaels memory wall in our front room. Ive been thinking of him non stop the last few days and I think I finally figured out why. Landon turned 1 today and Kael never did.... I missed that huge milestone and it makes me sad. Don't get me wrong I am over joyed that Landon is healthy and having his first birthday today but it also tugs at the heart strings that we missed this huge day with Kael. So enjoy the wall its got so many memories on it for us!!

31 in 31 day 6

So here it is. I woke up this morning to feed Landon and I peeked in on my other 2 boys as I usually do. Ever since Kael passed away at home its a paranoia I have so I check on them often. Here is what I found... Daxton had climbed into bed with Stefon and Jack our big brittney spaniel dog had climbed into bed with both of them. He was laying down till he noticed me taking the picture so he sat up but it was priceless. The boys love each other so much and often wind up in bed together. So sweet and cute! Love them all even the dog.

31 in 31 days days 3, 4 and 5

Ok so the weekend was busy but I did take my pics I am going to post days 3, 4 and 5 right now!!!

So the first picture is of the kids and my mom making sugar cookies they absolutely loved it and made a humongo mess!!!! It was so much fun for them. The next day is of Landon he sure is starting to get mischievous he was taking all the books off his bookshelf while I was putting away laundry. Today's picture is of the clouds. It was such a pretty shot!! Ive been thinking lots about Kael today and when I looked up and saw this I had to take a picture. Hope everyone is well and having a good day!!

Primary Childrens picture of the day 2

So today I had to go back to a place that is very, very hard for me.... The place where Kael spent much of his life, the place that we sat in the waiting room surgery after surgery, the place we went a few months after he passed away for a memorial service. Oh how this place knows how to pull at my heart strings. I wasn't so much nervous for Landons surgery my other 2 boys have gotten ear tubes and its not a big deal its pretty quick and not many side effects and it makes them stop getting ear infections HOORAY!! I was more worried about breaking down and throwing up in that gosh darn waiting room. The same lady sits at the desk today that sat there when we were waiting for all of Kaels surgeries to be done. She is so sweet and happy oh how I love her and dislike her so much all at the same time. I did ok only broke down once it was all said and done and I didn't throw up. YAY!! Big accomplishment for today. Kael of course is close to my heart today as always but a little extra today. Landon is doing good he laughed at the nurses the whole time. Hes sleepy sleepy now but the surgery went just fine. Here's a picture of Landon playing in the waiting room having no idea whats about to come next.

Faces of Loss

Hi friends. I recently came across this webpage for baby loss moms at www.facesofloss.com. It features moms stories and is a great place to go for support. I was featured yesterday if you would like to check it out feel free to do so and submit your story as well. Hope that all is well with everyone today... Sending much love to my babyloss mama friends.

31 in 31 days!!

This is Stefon being a fix it man for his cousin. I love watching them play.

So I got this idea from a fellow bloggers blog today and thought it sounded fun. You are supposed to take a picture a day and post it. I am super huge picture freak so I thought why not have a little fun and post the great pictures that I take. Everyone should join in!! Its fun, fast and easy. If you decide to do it let me know and I will follow your pictures as well. Hope everyone is having a fantastic day. Here is m picture from today.

24th of July

I know I know this is a little late but I got my tonsils out and have been a zombie. It has been so stinking bad way worse than any kids I had or my gall bladder. Its been 8 days now and I still cant eat crap. Great weight loss plan though. So for those of you not from Utah the 24th of July is when we celebrate the pioneers. So on the 23rd I took the kids to Bountiful my home town for the parade and fireworks. Layne wasn't able to come because he chopped his finger at work and had to go for stitches. Then on Saturday we all went down to Salt Lake where they have a big parade and had a great time. Lots of fun people, food, floats, motorcycle cops my sons favorite and bands, horses etc. I love family time and this weekend was chuck full of it. Here a few pictures from our fun.