I stumbled on this today...

So here's what I found when I was hanging laundry, a shirt that I made for Layne for fathers day in 2008.... I traced each boys hand print and had them paint it in we wrote " #1 dad hands down" on the shirt. So I came across this shirt and so many emotions started running.... I had traced Kaels hand in the NICU and put it on the shirt. All the nurses thought it was such a sweet idea... oh how I miss that little hand.. I'm glad Layne has it so we can look at it but how much happier would it be if he were here so we could hold his sweet hand... All things considered I am extremely glad I made this shirt. What a treasure to have now. I cant believe it is almost Kaels 2nd birthday. We have a neat little party planned I only hope its enough to make him realize how much we love him and miss him. I hope it turns out as special as we are planning on. I hope he knows I love him to infinity and think of him every day several times a day. I look at his pictures at home and at work and just pray that he knows how much I love and miss him and pray he thinks we did the best we could when he was here. Sometimes I wonder if it was enough, was it to much... did we make the right decisions... Thinking of you always and loving you to the moon. I love you Kael

karate!!

So the boys started Karate in February. They love it and are doing so good!!! It has helped them in so many ways. They are learning discipline, motivation, life skills, and self defense. They have earned 3 stripes on their karate belts and will be getting their 4th next week. They have patches that they earn stars for and they get stars almost every time they go. I am so glad we have made this investment and the kids really love it to!! Here a a few pics..

St.Patricks Day

Yesterday was St.Patricks day and it was lots of fun. The leprechauns visited our house and left a trail of their footprints and candy which led to the kitchen table where the kids found a green table cloth, a pot of gold and a gum ball machine for dax and stefon and a puppy dog for Landon. Below are a few pictures of the kids and the fun. We love making each holiday fun and special for the boys. I didn't get a pic of Landons shirt cause he was sleeping most of the day with a ear infection. I also felt bad because we didn't make it out to the cemetery to decorate Kaels grave but we are going out tonight so I guess better late than never. Having him gone makes holidays hard I always feel like part of us is missing but we try to make the best of it and make it special for the kids.

Wrestling

So 2 weeks ago we took the boys to the ecenter to see WWE monday night raw. The boys love wrestling so they were so excited!! Daxton and Stefon put on their John Cena shirts and Dax said I hope that John Cena will sign my shirt... well he wasnt able to get his shirt signed but John Cena did sign pictures of himself so both boys have one now. They were stoked about this!! The whole time they were so excited cheering for the ones they like and booing the ones they dont like and the last match was with John Cena in it so when he was coming out to get to the ring they held up their signed pictures. It was so fun to see them so excited and happy! A great family time. We even took Landon he laughed and looked around and also seemed to enjoy himself.

missing him.....

Thought of u today,but that is nothing new. I thought about u yesterday, & days before that 2. I think of u in silence, I often speak ur name. All I have r memories & a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has u in His keeping, I have u in my heart.

Oh how true this little saying is.. not a day goes by that I dont think of Kael.. Im planning a little party of sorts for his birthday thats coming up soon.. hopefully itll help my little family and those that are in our lives that miss Kael just as much. He means so much to me I dont ever want him to be forgotten. Thinking of him always but especailly today.. my heart is sad... I love you Kael. I hope your with me today....

Field trip to the firestation

So on Monday I went with Dax and Stefon to the firestation. They had so much fun and loved that they got fire hats and stickers, pencils. Lots of fun. Im glad that I got to go with the kids and see the excitement on their faces. Love love love my kids....