Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Right Around The Corner.....

In one week from today it will be the 4th anniverssary of Kaels passing. Somedays it seems like just yesterday and other days it seems like FOREVER. Its gotten easier as far as day to day goes but is still super hard to have one of my kiddos missing. I remember back to those amazing days when he was home. I can still smell his sweet smells, remembering his sweet smile, his coos and his redish tinted hair. Oh how I love that sweet boy. Can it really have been 4 years since we saw his sweet eyes? I hope hes dancing and playing and teaching and learning in heaven. I know hes watching over us every single day. I love you and miss you sweet boy!!

Saturday, September 22, 2012


Today was the magical day the ones the kids have asked about going to for a few months now once they heard it was coming. I never told them we got tickets so it was a BIG surprise for them when they finally found out. They were so EXCITED!! We got there early enough that the kids got to go down on the actual stage and play with the clowns, get tattoos and see the elephant up close. This year it included dragons. It was so fun to watch their faces through out the entire show. There were elephants, lions, tigers, cougars, dogs, cats, gymnasts, dragons, motorcycles and more. It seriously lasted almost 2.5 hours and the kids were glued the whole time!! Of course you cant go to the circus with out treats so we got popcorn and snow cones. The kids all got to choose a souvenir as well. Stefon picked a dragon, Daxton picked a light up mow hawk and Landon picked a light up spinny dragon toy. Its so rewarding to watch the kids have so much fun!! It makes being a mom even better!! It for sure is one of the greatest shows on earth!

Chuckie Cheese

While Layne is away up in Wyoming helping his brother out with his antelope he just caught on the hunt I took the boys on a little mommy date to Chuckie Cheese last night. It was lots of fun!  We played games, rode rides, ate yummy dinner, laughed, played on the play ground and won lots of tickets to get some awesome prizes. It was such a fun time. I love spending time with my little men!


Last weekend we headed up to snowbird for the annual Oktoberfest. We took the kids along this time because there were so many fun activities for the kids as well. It was a blast we rode on the tram up to the alpine slide which was a blast. Daxton was brave and rode by himself, Landon rode with Layne and Stefon rode with me. After we were done we took the boys down to get their faces painted and to have yummy lunch. We watched the dancers, and the singers Landon loved the music it was so fun watching him dance along. The weather was beautiful and the leaves have started to change so the scenery was awesome as well. It was a great way to spend our Sunday afternoon!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


I have started this post and deleted it at least 5 times over the past few weeks. I know part of my audience severely struggles with this and I never would want to hurt any feelings. To those lovely ladies I hope you will still continue on with me during this journey and though the continuous grief journey. I wish I could hug each of you and tell you for sure you are next. I love you all so much and am so thankful for all of you!! I found out 6 weeks ago that I am pregnant. Today I am 10 weeks and a day along. I usually find out quick as I get super sick right from the get go. This time hasn't been as bad but I still am feeling the effects. I wont complain though not a ounce as I know it could be much, much worse! I have been to the doctor 2 times thus far once at 8 weeks 2 days and just yesterday at 10 weeks.  The first picture is at 8 weeks 2 days, the second is at 10 weeks. The baby is looking good, heart beat is at 150 and it is measuring exact to my dates. I am so thankful to the lord for every day that I get with this little blessing. As to be expected I am worrying my brains out as I know all to well that it doesn't always go as expected. All I can do is trust in the lord that this little baby will join our family healthy and happy. I am lucky enough to go back to the doctor who delivered my other babies and knows Kaels story to a T. We will be watching this little one very closely and as it comes time for our 20 week scan I will go back to the specialist who watched us all through out our last 14 weeks with Kael. If the scan looks good we will just continue on as normal through out the remainder of the pregnancy. He mostly is sending me there for my scan for peace of mind as he knows how stressed out I get. For a repeat of what happened with Kael the chances are slim to none but alas they are still there and he wants to ease my mind. I cant believe we are on this journey again for a while there I thought it might never happen again.. I am not the most patient person in the world. Now I just sit back and do my darnedest to keep this baby safe and healthy. I thank the lord every night and beg Kael to watch over his little sibling and to keep them safe. I am ever grateful for this little life to join our family!

Daxtons surgery

On Friday I took Daxton up to Primary Children's to have his tonsils and adenoids out. Hes been having some issues with sleeping and when they checked it out his were HUGE!! We scheduled the surgery for the day he went off track at school to make sure he had plenty of time to recover. He was such a brave boy the night before as we were driving home he told me he knew hed be ok because Jesus and baby Kael would be watching over him:) So sweet. We checked in at 8:30. A room I know about a little to well. To my surprise I wasn't upset, I wasn't sad actually a deep appreciation came over me as I thought about all of the amazing things that happen in that hospital. For all of the kids they help each and every day and for how well they treat each child special. Daxton enjoyed the waiting room as he played with the train table and the game cube. Everyone was very nice and explained to him exactly what to expect. I walked him to the doors and off he went. I got to the waiting room to a friendly face. The same sweet lady who was always in the waiting room with Kael and even for the boys tubes was in there. We chatted for a minute she remembered me. Once again so glad with the love that the people of the hospital have. Daxs doctor came in once he was done to let me know it had all gone smooth and that it was a good thing they had taken them out. I had to wait about 20 mins for him to come out of sedation and then I could see him. He was so brave, the nurses were so nice the 1.5 hours we were there after seemed to fly by. Its a few days later now and today seems to be a bit better day. He is looking a bit better and not needing his pain meds as much. I sure love that boy and am glad that everything went so smooth!! And I'm sure now he will be much happier now as he will be able to breathe and sleep much, much better!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Landon goes to Preschool!

Where has the time gone? I cant believe little Landon started preschool. He just barely turned 3 but I like to send my kids for 2 years so off he went. He was soooo excited to start school and have his own back pack. Ever since the boys started he has been patiently waiting for his turn. It was so cute to see his excitement. Once he got home from school he couldn't wait to show me all of his papers and then once Layne got home he couldn't wait to show him either. He is such a smart boy I cant wait to see what he learns this year. My baby boy is GROWING UP!!

Labor Day

This year for Labor Day we played lots of games, napped, went to visit Kael and had a BBQ with a bunch of friends from the boys school. It was alot of fun. Very relaxed and chill. It was fun to be with family and friends. The boys were so cute and so adament about making sure that we visited Kaels grave. They each picked something to take for him. It was beautiful weather and a fun day had by all!

Sunday, September 2, 2012


The college season has officially started again. On Thursday night it was the first game of the season and happened to be a home game so down to Provo we headed. It was a late game but that didn't stop us we were there!! BYU played Washington State and destroyed them 30-6. It was quite a fun game. It was raining when we first got there so I didn't dare take in my camera so all I got was a few car pictures after the fact. It was such a fun game though and only rained about 10 mins then was clear and warm for the rest of the night. We took the boys over to the locker room where the players run out and the guys are sooo nice. They run along the side and give all of the little kids high 5's. The kids love it they think it is so cool. They were also giving out free posters which was the hit of the night!! We cant wait for the rest of the seasons. 5 more home games... Saturday cant come soon enough!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Climbing Higher

On Wed. Daxton received the Climbing Higher Award at school. He was so excited to be earning this award and so early on in the year. It was given to him by his teacher due to his hard work and dedication at school along with the fact that he is such a good kid in class and always works when its time to work and listens when its time to listen. He got to attend a special ceremony in the library where the principal gives out the awares and a cub pin to put on his plaque it was so fun to watch.  Daxton is becoming such a smart kid. I love watching him learn and grow. I am so proud of him for all of his hard work and cant wait to see what he accomplishes this year.

Red Butte Gardens

This week Stefon had his first grade field trip to Red Butte Gardens. I went along for the day. It was so fun we spent about 2.5 hours at the gardens, getting a tour, seeing all the animals and plants and learning about nature. Then we headed down to the park for lunch and to play. Stefon has this little girl who has been in his class since Kindergarten. She was so funny and wanted to hold his hand the whole time. Then on the bus another little girl insisted she sit by Stefon. He is already a ladies man. I love watching them interact. It was such a fun day spending quality time with Stefon.


This past weekend we took our family vacation to Denver to see the 49ers vs. the Broncos. We are HUGE niner fans and were super excited!! We flew there which the kids thought was AMAZING and then we took a subway train and then a bus to take us to our rental car. The kids were in heaven that they got to ride in a plane, train and bus all in one day. We also did this on the way back which was a huge win for them!! We brought my dad along for some special Grandpa time.  We stayed in a nice hotel only about a mile away from the stadium which was also great!! The shuttle took us to the game which was awesome for the traffic!! After the game we went to this really fun Italian restaurant where the kids got to play with pizza dough until their food arrived. It was so much fun! The 49ers won the game in the last quarter which was also a huge win!!! It was so stinking HOT that to keep the kids cooled we would take them up to the bathrooms drench their shirts and then let them come back down. They loved that and it helped with the temps for them. We had AWESOME seats. We were only 12 rows off of the field and sat right by the niners locker room so the kids got to see them up close and wave etc. We had an AMAZING vacation. The kids are already asking to go back!!

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