Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Friday, April 27, 2012


Things have been busy. Lots going on it seems like were always on the run! I wouldnt trade it for anything though because being busy is much better than sitting around and letting my brain run wild. That never turns into anything good.  Here are some pictures of random things weve done lately.

1. The puppy likes to spoon Stefon. I think its adorable.
2. Landon riding the bus at Walmart hed do it 100 times if id let him
3. Spring Soccer has started up the boys are 3 for 3. Daxton has scored goals in all 3 games and Stefon scored 2 goals in the last game.
4. Sprinkler time. Its finally warm enough (most days) to have fun water time
5. Landon and I having snuggle time he told me when I took this picture that we are Best Friends :)
6. Jungle Jims. The boys loved all the rides Landon wasnt scared even on the roller coaster and Daxton loved to play all of the games. He is a ski ball king!
7. Jazz Game!! We went on Saturday night it was a blast!! The Jazz won which always makes for an exciting time! Now they are in the play offs!
8. The boys thought it would be really fun to have a silly string party so thats just what we did.
9. This is Stefon and I at the Jazz game he insisted we have a picture together!
10. The Link is to a You Tube video to the song One More Day by Diamond Rio... That ones for Kael lately thats what Ive really wished... the wanting has been more the past few days.. I always want him of course but sometime the yearning is more than others. Love you to the moon and back buddy!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A little Advice...

I need some advice from my fellow BLM's!! My little Landon is now 2 1/2 and is asking lots of questions about Kael. He doesnt understand why he doesnt get to come to his birthday parties and why he doesnt ever see him except for in pictures. We talk about Kael often and have pictures all over but Landon lately is asking where is he and why. We talk about heaven and how he was sick. But for Landon who never had the opportunity on this earth to meet Kael he seems to be confused. He knows Kael is his brother and that we all love him and celebrate him, he loves to read Kaels book, sing his songs and look at his pictures but I dont know how to explain at his little level everything. I dont want to confuse or stress him out. So if anyone has advice that would be AMAZING!! Today is link up on Teshas blog so if youd like to link up the blog address is . http://www.teshastreasures.com/

On  a side note I recieved my beautiful pendant from in our hearts photo pendants. It is beautiful and I love it! I cant wait to wear it around my neck! I am super excited with how wonderful it came out. For just a small donation you can have one made for your angel baby!! To read more here is the link!! I took a picture on my cell so its not great my real camera is charging since I ran the battery out but if you go to the blog you can see a much better picture of it ther! So here is the link and a general idea. She has a few shapes to choose from I just may need to get a second in a different shape with a different picture so I can mix it up!  http://inourheartsphotopendants.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

8 Years of bliss!!

8 years ago Layne and I tied the knot! He and I have been through lots. The good the bad and the ugly. I cant imagine spending it with anyone else though. I love him more than words can say. He is my rock and my sense... When I'm totally loosing it he reels me back in. I cant imagine spending my life with anyone but him! Lots of great things have come our way and some heart ache but through it all our love remains. When people loose a child it can make or break you. For Layne and I it brought us closer together. Having to make those hard decisions, seeing the pain, coming to a understanding it for sure has brought us closer together. I love him with all of my heart! I'm thankful that hes mine. We spent the weekend together kid free.. its not often we get to do that. Most of the time we go out of town but due to some unforeseen circumstances that didn't happen this year. We did have a lovely time though. Friday night we went out do dinner and did some shopping. We rented a bunch of red box movies and had tons of treats. Saturday we did some errand running, house hunting (were getting closer to buying), birthday shopping for Daxton and Stefon, went out to lunch and watched some more movies. We were able to chat alot and make plans for some exciting things coming up! Sunday we lounged around all day seriously I slept on and off all day and we watched movies, played games with the kids (we picked them up late Sat night), played outside and had a chill family day. Honestly it was one of the best anniversary's we had! Might sound crazy but it really was just being together, being us. I loved it! Here's to many more years together!! I love you Layne!!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Kaels birthday celebration and the blanket drive

Yesterday we celebrated Kael! We made the day about him and thought of him all day long! The boys had school so while they were there I ran some errands picked up some last minute blankets from some friends. First thing in the morning Landon, Stefon and I snuggled in bed. I didn't want to get out but knew I had to. Kael would not have loved me to be miserable in bed. I went and picked up the balloons from the store and dropped off all the stuff at Grandma R's house to be ready for the party that night. When school was out we picked up the boys and headed up to Primary Children's the weather had been terrible raining and snowing I was praying that just for a while it would calm down so that we could have the celebration. When we got up to the Hospital they were so gracious! We had a great turn out this year 272 blankets, 134 stuffed animals, 16 hats for the NICU babies and 10 onezies. It makes me proud to make such a donation to the hospital that helped Kael live as long as he was able to. We snapped a few pictures then headed up to the cemetery. We cleaned off all of Kaels Easter stuff and put out his birthday stuff. We told Kael we loved him and happy birthday. On the way back to Grandma R's we grabbed McDonalds. The kids love it there and I like to think that Kael would love it to. We ate as a family and then everyone started showing up for the party! We had lots of family show up and show Kael lots of love. We wrote on our balloons to Kael and went outside for the balloon release. Daxton asked specially if we could do wish lanterns so we started a new tradition this year that we would let go as many wish lanterns as the years old Kael would be so we let 4 of those go as well after the balloon release. My prayers were answered. The  rain and snow stopped at about 6:00 and the party started at 7. It was perfect timing and made it so special! After the release we all had cookies and cupcakes and sat around and chatted. It was a special day for a special boy! I hope your birthday was amazing in heaven Kael and that you could feel our love all day. Stefon and Daxton drew such sweet pictures on their balloons. Stefon drew a picture of you and him holding hands. And Daxton was sure to spend extra time to make his perfect. Landon insisted on a yellow balloon at the store to send you they all love you so much!! Happy, Happy Birthday sweet boy! We love you!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Happy 4th birthday Kael... Whatd id say if you were here.

Dear Kael,

Its your 4th birthday today. My how time has flown by quick! I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. When we first heard you cry, the few seconds I got to hold you before the whisked you away, meeting some very nice doctors who were going to help you it was such a whirl wind! We were so happy you were here though and wouldn't have traded you for the world! You surprised us and came 6 weeks early. We knew you'd be early but didn't expect it quite that soon but glad you were here non the less. What a crazy whirl wind the last 4 years have brought. Today I want to remember the good times. We were so lucky to get to spend 5 months and 3 weeks and 3 days with you. Those moment we treasure. We have lots of pictures to remember the good times and the things we were able to do while you were here. I cant help but try and picture what you'd look like and be doing today. I'm sure you'd be handsome just like your brothers. You had the big brown eyes and that cute little smile. Would you have grown our of your chubbiness or would you still have those little rolls around your ankles and wrists? I think about the things you might be doing at this age. I'm sure it would  have been different than what most 4 year olds would be doing but we would love you and be proud of you no matter what... Who am I kidding we are proud of you. The things that you brought to our family and taught us are AMAZING. You showed us the real meaning of love, you taught us to live in the moment, how to be more patient, more kind more giving and understanding. You taught us how to fight and never give up! You were such a strong little boy and fought so hard to stay with us as long as you could!  Through you I have met several amazing women and families. Bless each of their hearts for being in my life. They are so caring, and they remember you and can relate with me. I love each of them. I hope you are having the best birthday in heaven with cake and balloons, music, dancing hugs and kisses from our loved ones that are there with you and a big hug from Jesus himself. I hope you catch our balloons tonight and see the night lanterns. We will be sending kisses and hugs with our balloons. Please know how much we love you and how grateful we are that one day we will all be together again! Be close today if you can. I love it when I can feel you near. Thank you for all that you have taught me and for being ours! You are amazing, you are strong, you are our example. We love you!! Happy Birthday Kael!

Monday, April 9, 2012


Easter was a good one this year. The kids were spoiled rotten and had such an amazing time. We spent most of the day with family. When the boys woke up they found their baskets and eggs hidden all over the house (silly Easter Bunny) it was so much fun watching them run around to find the eggs.  In the morning we went to Bountiful to be with my family and have lunch, an egg hunt and Easter baskets from Grandma Bott, then we all headed home for a nap.. we slept for 2 and a half hours!! (yikes) For dinner we went to the Rushworth side and the kids had an egg hunt there as well. It was lots of fun to be surrounded by family all day and to remember what Easter is all about. Easter has such a huge meaning in our lives now as it represents the ability for us to be reunited with Kael again some day. I strive every day to live my life in a way that it will be possible. We talked to the boys about the importance of this holiday and that it is more than the candy and eggs and bunny. They smiled as we talked about it and talked about how they miss Kael. I thought about him all day as the kids raced around looking for eggs, when the kids were dressed in their Easter outfits as I saw all of the cousins especially the ones that are his age. I sat back and tried to imagine  what it would be like if he were still here. Its nice to know one day we will have the privilege to have him again what a sweet, sweet moment that will be! I'm sure grateful for my little family and all of the blessings that we have! It was a fabulous day with lots of great memories made.

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