Never taking one single breath for granted.... enjoying the journey one day at a time!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Kaels memory walk!!

On Saturday we had Kaels memory walk. It was amazing and a little emotional. We had such a great support there and the staff is amazing. The walk is for memory of someone you have lost and the proceeds go to this amazing place called the Sharing Place. My kids go there to talk through the loss of their brother and get to meet other kids in the same situation and Layne and I get to go talk to adults in the same situation which helps alot!! Its all free besides donations which that in itself is amazing. They do so many great things there with the kids to help with their emotions and I am forever grateful!! So we went up Saturday morning and did the walk it was just over a mile and the kids did great!! We had such a good time and all 16 of us finished! My 1 friend was a bit confused and put Kaels name on her tag thinking it was supposed to be who we were running for and she took 3rd place so they called Kaels name and we of course were all surprised so Layne went up and accepted the ribbon which now ispart of Kaels wall in our front room. It was special. They then had the director give a speach about the walk and how hes done it for 5 years now but wont be able to continue and so he asked for volunteers for next my amazing hubby gave the guy his email and said hed be happy to do it so that the walk and donations for sharing place could go on. I was so grateful that he did that it meant the world to me. Now we can be doing something in Kaels name and for a great cause for years to come. So next year Layne and I will be in charge and make sure the event goes smoothly get the sponsors etc and run the race. I was so touched that Layne would step up to the plate to do that. He is truly AMAZING!! At the end of the rave they gave the kids balloons of course my sweet boys wanted to send them to Kael. That's when the emotions really hit me... I'm a baby and lost it a little. They are so sweet and want to include Kael in everything possible. I am so happy we decided to do this and so happy that we will be able to help other and keep Kaels memory alive for years to come!! The drive home I felt so peaceful. I could feel Kael with me in the car. It was such an amazing feeling. It had been a while and I knew he knew I needed a little hug from him that day. I love you to the moon Kael. I hope that you can feel our love always and know that we are so proud to have been your parents. I hope you are equally as proud to call us your family and that we do good things to carry on your legacy. I love you so much. Sending much love up to you today and everyday!! Love mommy

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Fathers Day!!

So Sunday was Fathers Day and it was a pretty good day. We woke up that morning and relaxed for a bit and gave Layne his presents. We made a yummy breakfast of pancakes and scrambled eggs. Layne made the boys snowman pancakes and sprinkled powder sugar on top to look like snow the boys loved it. After we got ready for the day we ran to Walmart to get a few things and had lunch at McDonalds. We came home to have family nap and then went over to Laynes sisters house for a BBQ and the kids to have a swimming party. My dad also joined us for dinner there. It was a great day and fun memories. I am so grateful to Layne for being such a good daddy. He works hard and loves the kids so much and shows them what a real daddy should be. He plays with them (wrestling is one of their favorites), teaches them all that they need to know and lets them know that he'll always be there for them. They are so lucky to call him daddy. Days like this are of course harder with out one of our kids here to love on and I struggle know whether to put Kaels name on birthday cards, fathers day cards etc.... anyone out there have input on that it'd be great. I dwindle back and forth having that argument in my head of which is the right thing to do... So many decisions in life. Thanks for being a great daddy. I love you so much!!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Pictures at Murry Park!!

So every year for my kids birthday I like to get their pictures done. Also when their babies I like to do them at the 3 month intervals. My sweet friend Lyndee is starting her photography business and offered to do them for me. She did such a great job! I am so happy with the pics. I have a few back and cant wait to get the cd back!! Thanks again Lyndee you are fabulous!!

Stefon turned 4!!

I cant believe it on Wed June 16th my sweet Stefon turned 4. It doesn't seem like its been that long!!! He is getting so grown up and smart. He is such a good boy but defiantly has his mind set in his own ways!! He is such good brother and Landon loves him to death!! He finished his 1st year of Preschool at the end of May and he loved it. He was so excited to be a big boy like Dax. He wants to do everything that Daxton does!! He is a great helper and he loves to play with the baby. Stefon is playing soccer and getting very good. He made some goals this season and some assists he even blocked a few goals. Hes also in Karate and loving it. He has earned his orange belt and is almost to the next level. Stefon decided he wanted to have a buzz light year party and have all his friends come with him to Jumping Jacks he had a blast. He got lots of fun things. On the day of his actual birthday we went to Murry park to do pics then we went on his birthday date. He picked to go to Jungle gyms we had so much fun riding all the rides and playing games he was so excited to win a snake sword with his tickets. We then went to Wingers for dinner and to get slurpees and treats after. Then Grandpa Bott came over to bring his presents. Thursday we went to Grandma Rushworths for dinner and they had a fun party planned they also made a buzz light year cake and Stefons favorite chicken nuggets and party bags and books for the kids. On Friday we went to see the new Toy Story movie which he loved and had pizza with friends. I am so thankful for Stefon he makes me smile everyday and gives us a fun for our money! He is a great kid and I am so glad that I get to be his mom!!

Friday, June 4, 2010

A memory walk for Kael

Feeling kind of low today. I have been sick the last few days and it makes me think lots about Kael when I'm down. The kids have been gone because I have strep and we don't want them to get it so Ive had lots of thinking time. It doesnt help too that a guy I worked close with at Verizon is missing from a boating accident and assumed dead. I hurt for his family and all my friends at work he is a great guy!! I hope he found Kael up there and their playing ball or something. Oh how I miss my sweet boy!! Today marks the 20th month of when Kael passed away. I know seems like forever and I should be over it and most days I am ok but it still hurts I'm just learning to cope better and working on being happy for my family. I love them all so much!! On a happier note we are participating in a walk for Kael on June 26th. If anyone local would like to join us that would be fabulous!! I am so excited about this. All the proceeds go to the Sharing Place a great place that has helped my kids so much! If you want to participate or even donate the website is http://www.thesharingplace.org/. This is going to be so great for my family. I appreciate the support that we will get! Thinking of you much today sweet Kael!! You make me a better person everyday. Thank you for everything you taught me! You are my sunshine! Hope your having a happy day in heaven and playing with all your friends smiling down and keeping us all safe. I hope you visit today and are with me! Mommy loves you to the moon and back!! Sending thousands of hugs and kisses!! Special thanks to Amanda who made these special pics. She has a facebook page called Angel Baby Lake Treasures. These pics mean the world to me!!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Memorial day.

Memorial day was a fun but hard day. My mom took the kids for Sat and Sunday then we all met up at the cemetery to decorate Kaels grave and then head to the zoo. The zoo was so fun. It was Landons first time and he got so excited. Daxton and Stefon loved it as well. It was fun to have my sister and her hubby and 2 kids and my brother with his friends 2 kids and my friend and her hubby and her 2 kids. We all had a good time. The kids looked at all the animals and we all rode the train and the carousel. It was a fun time. After the zoo we came home changed the kids clothes and went over to my friends house for playing and a very yummy BBQ. The kids played on the tramp, swing set, drove in the cars, went for motorcycle rides they wore themselves out. We were gonna swim but it got a little chilly so well save that for next time. It was great to be surrounded by family and friends on the day that reminds us that one of us is missing. It was great to go to Kaels grave and decorate it to let him know were always thinking of him, loving him and missing him. The cemetery is so pretty this time of year. It makes me sad to think that Kael wont get to go to the zoo but maybe there is a zoo in heaven that he goes to with his family and fellow gone to soon baby friends. I am so grateful to be his mommy and to know that he picked us to love him forever. I hope he had a fantastic day in heaven and knows that he love him to the moon and back. I hope your memorial day was a fun filled one as well.

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